


Mary Levinson

by mocking_ginger



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, F/M, Romance, Scandal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-14
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-11-29 06:27:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 29,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/683872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mocking_ginger/pseuds/mocking_ginger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Modern AU. Lady Mary Crawley has just graduated and is about to go to Oxford, the school of her dreams. But a summer fling and a dreadful incident may jeopardize all of that. She will have to go under the false name of Mary Levinson and realize that life without the privileges of her title is harder than she expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [University Challenge](https://archiveofourown.org/works/240388) by [Silvestria](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silvestria/pseuds/Silvestria). 



> This idea came to me recently. I read an excellent Modern AU fic which is University Challenge by Silvestria, and wanted to give it a try. This chapter is more of an introduction, the background to the story, but in certain ways is also the heart of it. I hope you like it, and I would like to hear your thoughts about it. If I don't, I might not continue it because I'm sure it'll prove to be a challenge. Thank you in advance for reading it and enjoy!

**Chapter One: Never the same.**

 

Do you ever feellike your life is spinning out of control? That it gets to a point in which it doesn't matter how much you want to make things right, you can only stand still and witness your own misfortune? That was exactly how Mary felt.

She had no idea that such a silly little act, a single moment of misjudgement would lead to her ruin. She had always been careful, proper, cold even. That's why she thought that surrendering to her desires for just that one time, could do no harm at all.

_No one will have to know about it._

She kept hearing those words in her head, hushed, rushed, in between sighs. Those words had been keeping her awake at night for the past month. Oh yes, one month. Only one month before.

No one will have to know about it. Until they did.

 

It was a misty morning when Mary woke up that day. It was 7 a.m. , not too early and not too late. She walked by the window and opened the damask curtains to reveal the familiar Yorkshire settings haunted by that early September fog. She loved being back a the house for vacations. It didn't matter how frenetic life in the outside world was, every time she was back at Downton Abbey she felt like going back on time. In a place and time where everything was just simpler.

She quit staring at the landscape outside the window and went straight to her personal bathroom. She waited for the hot water to fill the tub made with expensive marble from Italy and dove in. Mary knew she was a lucky girl. Even though most of the house was a museum now, she still lived in an aristocratic house. She was an aristocrat herself, which wasn't something very common in the year 2010. She was Lady Mary Crawley, first daughter of the Earl of Grantham and she loved it.

She finished her bath and covered herself with her soft bathrobe. In complete silence she got dressed, brushed her long wavy brown hair, and applied a light layer of make up. It was only then that she took a glance at the _Impressionists Calendar_ on her wall. It was the 2 nd of September. Mary walked by the calendar and turned the page to the previous month for a moment, glancing at all of the red crosses marked over each day. The marks continued until the first of September and it was time for the second. Just a few boxes later, precisely on the 5th of September, instead of a big red cross, the day was circled multiple times. Mary reluctantly took the read marker from the desk nearby and drew a big red cross on the box which figured the number two.

The 5th of September, just a few days away, was the day Mary departed for University. And not just _any_ University, Mary had been accepted to Oxford. Just in a few days she would have packed her bags and joined the long line of aristocrats, including her father, who had enrolled in Christ Church College.

For years she had dreamed and dreamed, going through the brochures and the websites. Imagining herself walking in those remarkable cloisters, discussing Plato and Socrates with a handsome senior, while waving politely at some silly girl who was obsessively calling her name.

She should have been as happy as she had been in the past few months. She was still going to Oxford, her bags were still there at the base of the bed, half packed. But Mary wasn't happy. She couldn't be. She knew those bags were an illusion. They had to be. How could they be real? She simply couldn't still be going to Oxford,not after what happened.

Mary sat on the edge of her bed. She wasn't ready to go down for breakfast, not yet. Her mind wondered and inevitably landed on that day, the day her summer actually began.

 

It was the first of July, it was the day she would finally see her boyfriend, Evelyn Napier.

Evelyn and Mary had played together for sure when they were toddlers, but it was only when Mary went to boarding school that they saw each other for the first time. Mary was in all girl school, and Evelyn in the all boy school nearby. Both prestigious, of course, and both filled with sons and daughters of aristocrats and distinguished members of the British society. Mary was, without any doubt, the queen of her school. The prettiest, the most elegant and the most snobbish of all. Evelyn, on the other hand had all the qualities of a perfect english gentleman: the right amount of charm, politeness and wit. But most of all, he was going to be an Earl just like her father.

It was perfect, they were perfect for each other.

Years had gone by and Evelyn had gone to University, but they still kept dating one another, even from the distance. Mary had been very confident about it all. She considered herself quite good at it. She had no idea why all those girl at her school would complain about boys and relationships. Everything was so easy with Evelyn. They agreed on almost anything, he would send her the most lovely e-mails and best of all he didn't pressure her at all. They lived in a world very different from the one the showed on television. In their world, for a couple it was simply unacceptable to show such impropriety. That's why it was perfectly normal that even if she was now 20 years old, their displays of affections hadn't gone far from the chaste kisses they would exchange when they greeted each other. There was no need for more and that was it.

But in the summer of 2010 everything changed.

Evelyn was going to spend and entire month at Downton that summer, and since it would have been a bit improper and quite boring to be the only boy in house of all girls for an entire month, he asked if he could bring a friend with him. A turkish boy of the same age, the son of the turkish ambassador in London,who was going to spend the summer in England.

 _I can already picture him_ Mary had said to him on the phone _A funny little foreigner with a wide, toothy grin and hair reeking of pomade_. Evelyn had laughed at her snobbish remark but had answered _I wouldn't quite say that. But anyway, we'll be there in a few days and you'll see it for yourself._

An she did. _Oh boy,_ she did. When he first stepped out of Evelyn's expensive car, Mary swore she had never seen someone more handsome, more charmingly and quite frankly sexier than Kemal Pamuk.

That young man had everything shaped just in right way, from the line of his jaw, to his full lips, his wavy hair and his charming deep brown eyes.

A deep realization had hit Mary all at once: there was nothing normal about her relationship with Evelyn, nothing at all. When she looked at him, she would feel nothing beside affection and respect. When she looked at Kemal, _well_... she didn't know where to start.

The days that followed she decided to keep those feelings locked inside of her, at least for propriety's sake. But she couldn't help sometimes, to smile very brightly at something he said, to glance at him with desire when no one else was looking. But it didn't take too much time for Kemal to notice, and with Mary's stupor, it didn't take that much for him to start responding to those looks with the same intensity.

It was a beautiful summer's day during the most boring garden party, that Kemal had brought her in a secluded place between some very high bushes behind the house. Before Mary could ask the reason for their isolation, Kemal had put a finger on her rosy lips, his eyes were burning with desire. That gaze and that perfectly shaped face made Mary feel like she was completely naked. When their lips met and his hands were traveling insatiable throughout her body, she almost wished she was. He didn't say much after their little rendez-vous, but the following days whenever he was looking at her like that, she knew she had to go behind that rose bush again and wait for him.

No one in the house, especially Evelyn had suspected a thing, some of the servants perhaps, but Mary had decided not to think about it. It wasn't like she had committed a grave sin, those were just innocent kisses. Except there was absolutely nothing _innocent_ about them. But the point was that, regardless how passionate she felt about Kemal, no _real harm_ had been done yet. And just in a few weeks he would be gone. Back to Turkey. Mary would've never seen him again. He would've disappeared from her life the same way he got in it.

But apparently Kemal wouldn't be satisfied with just few kisses before he was gone. He had been preparing for a while, testing Mary and her potential. A couple of nights before their departure he had sneaked into Mary's room. _What are you doing here?_ She had asked in warm but scared voice. _Don't worry_ , he had whispered walking her to her canopy bed _No one will have to know about it_ he whispered tracing kisses all over her neck. Mary had finally given in and Kemal had made his priority to please her in every way he could think of. It was right after they both moaned for pleasure, that in the process of letting himself go beside her, Kemal let out a sigh and left the world of the living, his eyes still gazing at the ceiling above them.

What happened after the dreadful realization that she was laying beside a dead man, went on too fast and too slow at the same time. She started to scream before she could be able to control herself. Her mother and Evelyn, recognizing her voice, had ran as fast as they could only to find her half naked, staring at the beautiful stranger, laying lifeless on her bed. The questions from her parents, the comments of her sister, the explanations given by the coroner, all sounded muffled to Mary's ears. She had completely shut down and so did Evelyn. He had left the day after without saying a word, if not of gratitude for her parents. He hadn't called or written to her single word and Mary couldn't quite blame him at all.

 _Natural causes, natural causes, natural causes_ .

She kept hearing the coroner's voice inside her head. Even if the cause of Kemal's death had been a heart attack, she still couldn't bring herself to be eased by it. She had been made different by it, and she was sure she would never be the same Lady Mary Crawley ever again.

 

She took a deep breath and gathered herself on her own two feet, it was time to head downstairs. Still, while she walked down the stairs she wondered how the papers still hadn't breathed a word about it. How could she still be able to go to Oxford after all. Whatever it was, Mary sensed that something was coming, she could read it in her father's eyes that morning at breakfast.

Both Edith and Sybil were still sleeping soundly upstairs, so Robert and Cora took the chance to speak to her daughter alone.

“Mary, honey” her mother's american accent called her “We want to talk to you about Oxford”. She knew it. It was too good to be true. She wasn't going to Oxford after all, she would maybe be sent to an all girl college again where--

“Your mother and I have talked about it a lot” her father intervened “First we thought about sending you to study in America, but it's too late to apply to any good school now...”

“Plus” Cora added “We realized how much Oxford meant to you, so...”

“We decided that you should go to Oxford after all” Robert finished the sentence as Mary's eyes widen “But there's one condition after all.”

“Name it! I will do anything!” Mary cried happily.

“It already settled. You will go to Christ College just as planned, but you won't go by the name of Lady Mary Crawley. You will be Mary Levinson.”

Mary dyed down her excitement and frowned “What if they recognise me?”

“We have thought about that of course and luckily you haven't been exposed to the public eye just yet. Whatever happens no picture of you will be released, I'll make sure of that” Mary was processing all of those informations “ Also, there's apparently no one that you could know at Oxford right now, so you should be safe.”

Cora smiled “Isn't it great, honey? You will get to go to Oxford after all.”

“But...” Mary blurted out “ If I won't be Lady Mary Crawley, I won't be asked to the Oxford's society events, I won't get to go to those clubs you told me about for so many years...” she cried to her father's grey expression.

“I'm afraid you are responsible for losing that privilege , my dear.”

“You will still go to the University of your dreams, there's nothing better than that.” her mother came to her and held her lovingly. Just when Mary finished to dry her tears, Edith and Sybil walked through the door.

 

The 5th of September arrived and Cora and Robert watched both proud and worried her daughter loading the trunk of her car with all of her luggages. It would have been very difficult for her, they both knew it, but she at least would have a normal University life, protected by the Oxford bubble. Mary gave a kiss to her parents and hugged her sisters and jumped on her newly washed car, and Robert watched her until the car disappeared in the distance.

Edith and Sybil ran quickly back into the house and took a set of car keys from her pocket.

“Where are you going?” Cora asked.

“I've got to head to Ripon to see this new lawyer” Cora's eyes darkened “They say he's young, but he's practically a genius in this field. And that he's very discrete, of course.”

“I wish you would have told her before she went.” Cora whispered sadly.

“She was already skeptical about the whole different name thing. If I told her that Pamuk's family is suing and threatening to make this an international incident, I'm sure she would be devastated.”

“Maybe you're right.”

“Let's just wait until she settles, until she makes new friends and is happy there. Then it will be time to get serious and include her in the conversation.” Cora agreed and gave her husband a gentle kiss.

 _Let's give her a fresh start_ she thought _before the past comes back to haunt her_.


	2. Human Rights and Biodegradable Bags

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mary starts her hard path in Oxford. Not being Lady Mary has consequences in that privileged academic world, but she manages to make a friend and a possible foe at the same time.

**Chapter Two: Human Rights and Biodegradable Bags**

 

Those had been absolutely the worst two weeks of her entire life. Not only her father had ordered her to completely abandon her identity for a story which hadn't been printed yet, but he had also forbidden her to live in the student dorms. He had instead picked a spacious flat in the city center, which was way too big for one person, and had arranged for a cleaning lady to come twice a week to keep the flat in order. At least her father was right about the maid, but what about everything else? And how was she supposed to make new friends?

 _During lectures_ her mother used to tell her on the phone. _Yeah, right_. Mary wasn't exactly used to initiate any type of conversation. Everyone usually knew her name and were instantly compelled to say something witty to interest her. But this way, in each of the few courses that had started, Mary had found herself wondering around her waiting for someone to speak to her, even if it was just to borrow a marker.

One day in _Ancient Greece History_ , she even raised her hand and gave her opinion, hoping to catch the attention. After that lesson, as she walked out into the beautiful great cloister of Christ Church, she had a guy chasing after her. He had reached her and started to talk about her intervention on Thucydides. It wasn't Plato or Socrates, and he wasn't exactly a handsome senior, but it was as close to her fantasy as she could get.

But it was in the moment when she met this guy's eyes, while she was talking excitedly, that she noticed he wasn't listening to a single word she was saying. And his look, well... Mary knew that look very well now. Annoyed and sad, she ended the conversation quickly and refused to give the guy her number. She put her headphones on and blasted some jazz in her ears.

She had tried to use the car in town, but it was completely useless. It would have taken twice the time and it would have been a nightmare to park. So it had resorted to that: Lady Mary walking. Yes, walking and going into the grocery store. If Edith could have seen her, she would have never stopped making fun of her about it.

She looked a the shelves puzzled and then thought that six packs of noodles would have done for at least the rest of that week. As she walked by the stalls, chasing after the check out, she ended up loading her cart more than she expected. She wasn't so happy about having to load those smelly biodegradable bags all by herself, but decided not to show her disappointment. She had to do those things herself, it was the only way she could have recovered her parent's respect.

As she walked out of the store and turned right to reach the building where she lived, she began to feel the poorly balanced weight of her shopping bags, she had to take that third bag after all. Few seconds had passed from when she noticed the handles were stretching too far to when they actually broke, leaving her groceries to land on the floor. She looked at them for a while, trying so hard not scream. She thought the singer in her ears was doing that well enough. She took a deep breath and knelt down to start collecting everything. She almost jumped when a few minutes later, she noticed a blond girl kneeling down to help her. She had a nice smile and her nose was reddish for the cold. Mary saw her mouth moving, but couldn't ear a word because of her ipod still playing.

“Wait” she warned her, pausing the music and getting rid of the headphones “I'm sorry, what were you saying?” she asked politely.

The blonde girl chuckled “I said you should get a fabric shopping bag to reuse. These ones are good for nothing.”

“Oh thank you” Mary hushed “ I thought it was me being stupid.”

“Not at all” she smiled “ Everyone has suffered from the biodegradable curse at some point.”

 _Everyone?_ Mary thought, well... this girl hadn't certainly lived her whole life at Downton Abbey.

“Here” the girl took something from her bag, it was a folded fabric bag. She opened it and started putting Mary's groceries in it.

“Oh no, please! You shouldn't even be helping me in the first place!”

“Nonsense! How do you think you're going to carry all of those things without it?”

“But” Mary hesitated “How will I give it back to you? How... how can I repay you?”

“I'm going to walk you to your dorm or flat, don't worry about it”

“Thank you” Mary finally said, surrendering to her kindness.

They walked together to Mary's flat and the girl ended up helping her ordering the grocery in the kitchen, so Mary insisted that she stayed for tea. It was the least she could do.

“My name is Anna, by the way” the blond girl said as Mary was putting the kettle on “Anna Smith, do you have a name?”

Mary laughed “ Mary C-- Levinson, Mary Levinson” she blabbed.

“Wow! Levinson? Are you maybe related to the Martha Levinson of that big american film industry? Levinson Entertainment?”

 _Oh_ Mary sighed, _she was_. Martha Levinson was her grandmother from her mother's side. She had been a star back in the 60s and was now producing all of those incredibly commercial teen movies.

“Sadly, no” Mary fake smiled. Her father had suggested she didn't even mention her American relations, just in case someone was able to do the math.

“That's a pity” Anna teased “ I could have seen you hanging out with those vampire zombies actors.”

“Why?” Mary asked amused.

“I don't know. You have that _superstar_ aura going on. From you features to your class.” Anna smiled.

“Thanks, I guess?” Mary said opening a shelf door behind her. She took an orange can and showed it to her “Do you like this one?” the box said _Ceylon_.

“Love it” Anna answered.

“Me too” Mary smiled, opening the new packed can. When she finally got rid of the cover, and extremely puzzled expression came to her face “ What is this?” she gasped “I thought it came in bags!”

Anna came closer to her and looked at the can “You need to have a filter for this” she informed her.

“I'm afraid I don't have that” Mary cried mortified “What can I do? My God I'm such a mess!”

“Don't panic!” Anna chuckled “ Take a strainer. You know that one for the icing sugar” Anna noticed that Mary's expression was still puzzled “ You should have it here somewhere, may I?” she asked eyeing the drawer. Mary nodded. “Here it is!” Anna said triumphantly putting the strainer on the kitchen worktop. “Now we put the herbs into the hot water and then we filter it with the strainer”.

When the tea crisis was averted, they moved to the living room and started chatting about this and that.

“You have to admit it's pretty ridiculous” Mary said “I invite you to repay you for your kindness and you end up making tea for the both of us.”

“I already told you, it's fine” Anna chuckled “But I have to admit that I've never met anyone who had troubles making tea.” they both laughed as Anna glanced at the text book on the coffee table.

“I'm taking that class too” she said after taking a sip of her tea “Human Rights Law”

“Oh, really? Cool!”

“Are you a law student? Because I'm in management, I'm taking that class for extra credit.”

“No no, I want to be a journalist. But I'm taking that class because I want to write about all sorts of thing, you know... Not just doing commentaries about dusty old books and shakespearean plays. Although I love those dusty old books to the bits” Mary smiled.

“It seems very interesting. And I hear professor Murray is pretty cool. It starts on Monday, doesn't it?”

“Yes” Mary nodded “Which dorm are you in?”

“Oh, actually... I'm living nowhere right now. I had my Oxford admission pretty late and I wasn't hoping too much to get it at all. So I never signed up for any dorms, and now I'm desperately seeking for a room while I stay at a bed and breakfast.”

Mary thought about it for a second, but before even realizing it, her lips were moving and she was asking Anna to move it. I was crazy, but Mary had never been more comfortable with anyone else. She hadn't even realized that tree hours had passed! She had never met someone like Anna, so kind and sincere. Someone that had decided to help, not because of who she was, but simply because she needed it.

“But...” Anna blabbed in disbelief “ Don't you have to ask your roommates before?”

“I don't have any roommates” Mary simply blurted out.

“Are you kidding me?” Anna cried. That place was huge! “Thank you Mary!! This is really too kind of you!”

“You have been too kind to me” she smiled “Time for some payback.”

“Ok” Anna cried excited “I have a four hours shift at the coffee shop, but I'll start packing as soon as I finish!” she came up to her and hugged “Thank you! Thank you!”

“When you are done call me, so I'll came and pick you up!” Mary said “ I need a good excuse to drive my lonely car in this town!”

 

͠

The following days Mary couldn't wait to be done with the lectures to go and help Anna settling down. She had found out it had become her favourite part of the day, being with Anna. They didn't need much, but they always had so much fun together. And Anna knew a lot of stuff about managing a house, in short Mary's act of kindness had revealed to be a very smart move too. Her father hadn't been so happy to hear about the news of a roommate at first, but then he was just glad that Mary had found a friend at Oxford.

“Mary, I'm going!” Anna announced monday morning “ Class is at 12, right?”

“Yep” Mary said finishing up her bowl of cereals.

“My shift ends at half past eleven. I'll try my best to be punctual!”

“I'll try to save you a seat!” Mary smiled as her friend walked out of the apartment.

Mary arrived at the classroom quite early and realized this class had to be pretty popular, because the room was already crowded. She snuck between people and chairs and arrived safely at the first row, which traditionally was everyone's last resort. But Mary didn't care for all of those high school crap, and found the first row to be extremely useful, especially for a Law class in which you had to be extremely observant. She took a seat and kept an eye on the seat right next to her.

When it was almost twelve, the professor had already come in and was starting to set everything for the lecture, but Anna was nowhere to be seen. With an eye on the seat next to her, Mary noticed her iphone was buzzing.

 _Just got here, I'm in the back_ Anna had texted her.

Mary turned around and looked for her with her eyes. When she found her, she waved at her to catch her attention. But when they both finally saw each other, Mary noticed that a guy with blonde hair and a pretentious smile had stolen the precious spot. Mary lifted her shoulders disappointed, and Anna mouthed that it was ok. Mary snorted and took a notebook from her bag.

“Hi!” the blonde guy said cheerfully.

“Hi” she responded, her tone gradually reaching her snobbish _Lady Mary tone_.

“Excited about this class?”

“I guess” she tried to cut short that jerk's cry for attention.

“What have I done to you?” he asked visibly amused.

“You took my friend's seat.”

“Oh, I'm sorry” he chuckled, revealing his perfect white teeth “But she shouldn't be late. You will learn it soon enough” he smiled.

Mary was lucky that Professor Murray had started his lecture in that very same moment, otherwise she might have been rude. The professor gave an introduction speech and explained the highlight of the course that they were about to undertake. Mary started taking notes and could feel the guy's gaze on her. He, on the other hand, wasn't taking any notes at all. What a pretentious jerk.

Then Professor Murray talked about his assistant and the contribute that he was going to give to the class.

“He is young and he has majored in Industrial Law, but he made a serious outbreak in the matter and seems to be one of the rising stars in the topics of international conflict of interest and embassy law.”

“Are you excited about it?” the blonde guy teased her.

“ _Please_ ” Mary answered bitterly “I can't believe how anyone could think that a major in industrial law can be remotely interesting at all.” she blurted out as snobbish as ever.

The professor was continuing his speech “Matthew, please, would you come up here and explain to us what your contribution will be about?”

Professor Murray looked in their direction, and with Mary's stupor and horror, the pretentious jerk smiled at her and reached the professor near the board.

Mary's jaw dropped as Matthew introduced himself to the class and started his own speech, shooting occasional smirks in her direction. Mary was so annoyed and pissed to have found his speech quite interesting after all.

 

͠

 

Matthew finished to collect all of his thing and bid Professor Murray goodbye. Maybe this part-time thing at the University was going to be fun after all. Even if... well... it was Oxford. He went out and reached for his bicycle while glancing at the students exiting the class. That pretty brunette was nowhere to be found. _Boy_ , _it had been fun teasing her!_ He laughed as he cycled to his flat. 

Oxford wasn't so bad after all, maybe it was really what he needed after the last oppressive months. After twisting the key in the lock, Matthew threw his bag and scarf on the sofa and reached for his cellphone in his pocket.

 _Four missed calls_. Three were from Lavinia of course, but the fourth were from a number he didn't recognized. Since it could have been something important, he laid on the sofa rubbing his eyes, and dialed that number.

“Oh, Lord Grantham! It's a pleasure” he cried, sitting back properly as if the man on the speaker could see him “Yes, I am done moving. I will e-mail you the new law firm address as soon as I can. You can send all the papers there. Ok. Thank you. A good day to you too , Sir.” he let out a loud groan and laid himself back on the sofa.

 

 


	3. Tabloids and Laurel Trees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mary and Anna have a hard time finding the right place to hang out at night, so John decides to invite them to some mysterious place. Will it be safe to trust a 35 year olds who wants to hang out with 19 year olds?  
> In the mean time the moment from the Freshmen Class Cocktail has arrived and Mary will have to face her posh university people, luckily with Anna on her side.

Matthew looked at the alarm clock on the nightstand, it was way past ten o'clock. He let out a sleepy groan and pulled himself together after dueling with the bedspread for almost five minutes. He opened the curtains, and thanked for the foggy british weather which hadn't blinded his eyes. As he walked freely in his flat, being all but productive, he couldn't help but thinking how Lavinia would have totally disapproved of this behavior. 

_Right, Lavinia_ he thought.

He turned on his mobile and discovered that there were more missed calls, all from Lavinia. He let out a sigh and decided it was time to call her after all.

“Hey Lavinia, it's me--” he said recognizing her voice.

“Matthew!! Honey I thought something might have happened to you! It's been almost two weeks since the last time I heard from you!”

“I'm fine, I've just been busy.”

“But you could have called!”

“Lavinia... I thought we talked about this.”

“I know, but I just wanted to make sure you were alright. You must hate it at Oxford.”

“It's not so bad...” he decided to dodge the topic and asked her “How is you dad?”

“He's doing much better. We are finally beginning to get used to London.”

“I'm sure you are going to love London eventually. It's louder than Manchester, but there's so many things to do and see.”

“I know” she said in a low voice “I suppose I just miss you.”

There was an awkward silence after her last sentence, but he tried to keep the conversation going for a while, only to tell her politely he had some files to study in the end. He actually did have the files from that Lord Grantham and a stash of papers to correct, but that wasn't the whole reason he wanted to dodge that conversation.

Matthew and Lavinia were having a so-called _break_ from their six years relationship. They had been high school sweethearts back in Manchester. She was a couple of years younger and she had remained faithful to him when he had gone to Cambridge only to follow him a few years later. It had been so nice at first: she was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen with those angel features, and she had chosen him out of everyone. They seem to agree on everything, he knew he could be a bit pretentious sometimes, but Lavinia was so good she could undertake everything. But being a good loving girlfriend sometimes wasn't just enough, and things had got quite boring. Especially when he had finally got his license, their relationship had reached a very flat point. The problem was that they both had very different ideas on how to move forward. 

Matthew knew, he could read it in her eyes, that she wanted to start a family, get married even. But he had felt so trapped lately, like he couldn't even breath and even if his mates from college would tell him that it is pretty standard for a man to feel like this before the great step, he just knew it wasn't right to rush things before he could figure out what he really wanted. 

Sure he loved kids and would have loved to have some of his own at some point, but he felt like he had so much more to give, so much more to do and enjoy before he could really start thinking about settling down. He was 24 years old for Christ's Sake! In the end he couldn't lie to both himself and Lavinia, it just wasn't right.

When that call from his old Professor from Cambridge George Murray came, he felt like he was being freed from a cage. It was the opportunity to breath some new hair and get some perspective. Lavinia was going to do her masters degree in London anyway, so they had both decided to take some times off. If he had come to work in her father's firm, _it would've been better_ she had said, but being in the same city and working for _her_ dad out of everyone, would have compromised the whole concept of _taking a break_.

Lord Grantham's files caught his eyes and pulled him away from his daydreaming. That was definitely something way more prominent to be frustrated about. He had almost been obliged to take the case from his contact in Ripon, and he had to admit it was a very interesting case for the path he had chosen to specialize himself in. The only thing was that he really couldn't be bothered with the silliness of the british aristocracy. It amazed him how they could still be able to cause so much troubles, international incidents even, in the year 2010. They were really the Country's cancer. But of course Matthew was never going to voice those thoughts aloud, he wasn't after all an extremist or a republican for that matter. The truth was that his thoughts came from his frustration, frustration because he knew very well what was coming. He just hoped he had made enough calls to minimize the damage.

~

 

Mary gasped as she finally found the place. She panted as she finally stepped into the Red Lion, praying it was the right place after all. It was a strange name for a coffee shop, it sounded more like a pub.

“Mary! Over here!” she heard Anna's familiar voice and sighed in relief. She headed to the counter where Anna was finishing his shift. 

“Hey! I'm here safe and sound!” Mary panted.

“I was starting to give up on you!” the blonde chuckled.

“ I know, I know... But the professor went on for more than expected and I lost the bus. Now these shoes are killing me” she complained.

“You have to be mad to choose to go to class in those heels!”

“But they're designer shoes!”

“All the more reason!” Anna laughed as a man from the other side of the counter approached them.

“Am I missing something fun?” he said in a very composed voice to Anna.

Anna smiled and Mary noticed her cheeks were going a little red “John, this is my roommate Mary!” she explained.

“Oh the _life saver_!” he cried miming Anna.

Mary chuckled and shook his hand “ She's the only life saver here, believe me. It's a pleasure to meet you John” she said politely.

“Oh, John” Anna began “ do you think I could take a break? I don't want to monopolize the counter, talking to Mary.”

“Sure, don't worry! You haven't taken your lunch break anyway!” he said and Mary suddenly felt so guilty for her delay.

Anna smiled and got rid of her apron. They took a seat not far from the counter and John, the owner, brought them coffees and muffins _on the house_.

“It's a very nice place” Mary stated looking around the shop. The atmosphere was very mellow and light hearted “It's nothing like the coffee shops near Christ Church.”

“That's because they're full of snobbish people from the high society.”

“You really think they're so bad?” Mary asked a bit hurt. It would have killed her that her newfound best friend thought badly of her former people.

“It's not that I think they're bad, don't get me wrong. But they do tend to be a little bit exclusivist, I mean-- they don't really like to get mixed up with people who are not from their world.”

Anna had to be the most good-hearted person she'd ever met “I suppose you're right” she agreed “ They've never spoken a single word to me.”

“You could always come to have lunch here” Anna suggested.

“It would be nice I'm sure” Mary agreed “I would never make it back to lectures on time.”

“You would if you know... _You used a bicycle._ ”

“I already told you I don't do bicycles!”

“And I don't understand why! It's an Oxford tradition, and you love those!” she paused to catch Mary's annoyed expression “I wouldn't have brought this up, If I hadn't found a brand-new bicycle in your garage” 

_What?!_ Mary thought, but then she realized that her father must've had that arranged as well, to give here the whole Oxford package.

“The thing is” Mary began clearing her throat “I... I-- _don't know how to ride a bike._ ” she blurted out in a voice so feeble, almost like she had revealed one of the secrets of the Crown of England. Anna chuckled at the situation, but Mary shoot her a deadly look “Please, don't make fun of me.”

Anna nodded “You can ride a horse, but you can't ride a bike” she voiced in disbelief.

“I told you not to make fun of me!” Mary cried.

“I'm not, I'm just shocked” Anna smiled “Well, you have to learn!”

“I'm not risking falling with my face on the ground in Christ Church!”

“Then I'll teach you!” she sang “ We'll go out of town for a picnic on Sunday and I'll teach you how to ride!”

“Really?” Mary asked “ You're a true angel, Anna!”

“It's nothing really! But you have to promise me we're gonna go out a little more in the evenings!”

“Ok...” she groaned “ But we have to avoid bars where either preppy people ignore you or creepy old men send you drinks, I'm not doing that again!”

“They weren't all so bad! But you're right, we have to find a better place to hang out!”

“Refill?” John popped out of the blue with a pot of hot coffee. They both handed him their mugs and thanked him. “I'm afraid I overheard you talking before” he began.

_Oh God, please not about the bicycle._

“There is this place I want to show you” _ok it was about the bars_ “I think you're going to fit right in.”

“Really?” Anna sounded excited “Where is it?”

“Ehm... it doesn't really work like that. Look what about you come here after closing hour on friday night?”

“I have this Welcome Cocktail thing at Christ Church” Mary intervened before Anna could open her mouth “ and Anna promised to come with me and save me from isolation.”

John smiled “It doesn't matter, you can come after that.”

“That's right!” Anna cried “ Thank you John, we'll come for sure!” the exchanged a warm smile and John went back to the counter to serve the clients.

“What is it with you?” Mary cried to Anna's puzzled expression “Are you really giving in to a creepy 35 years old man's proposition?”

“John is not creepy!” Anna cried upset “He was just being nice!”

“ He invited to young girls to his shop after closing time. Not to mention he wouldn't tell us where he actually wants to take us!” Mary pointed out.

“He's not like that!”

“You have a crush on him, and that's ok. I'm only telling you to be careful!”

“I don't have a cr--- Whatever! He invited us and we're going!”

“Fine, I have the police on speed dial anyway...” Mary teased her.

Anna had to finish her shift even if it was just for half hour and Mary waited for her. They waved at John on their wait out and before heading home they stopped at Tesco. While Anna was hunting down whatever they needed for dinner, Mary wondered in the magazine section. It was there between Kate Middleton's plans for the wedding and Lady Gaga's weird outfits that she spotted it. It was _him_ , Kemal. There was a picture of him in the papers.

Mary suddenly felt her heart racing and room spinning around. She fairly confident she was about to have a panic attack, but she was lucky enough that before she could start gasping for air, Anna had appeared by her side, with a hand on her shoulder.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes” she said breathing heavily “The heating in this place is unbearable!” she explained.

“I am done, do you need anything?” she asked.

“No, we can go to the check out”.

 

~

 

Friday morning Mary woke up feeling quite cranky. She hadn't slept much in the past days. The lines of that mean article about Pamuk had played over and over in her head. She hadn't actually believed that they would have printed the story.

“Good Morning Princess!” Anna greeted her from the kitchen counter, handing her some orange juice “Do you have any classes?”

“Not until 3 pm” Mary blabbed “Are you about to go to work?”

“No, I have the day off” she smiled fixing some breakfast for her friend “What is it with your mood these days? Aren't you a tiny bit excited about this fancy cocktail thingy? You were last week when we bought those dresses!”

 _Oh right, the cocktail_. Yes she had been very excited to be able to socialize with her freshmen class in a smaller environment, but that was before _the scandal_ had broken. She had seen those papers all over the classes, the cafés and the library. And to top it all, everyone was talking about it! A dirty scandal involving a young woman from the aristocracy was just what everyone needed to forget about the mistakes of their own. Luckily, just as her father had promised, no pictures of her had been disclosed, but the name _Lady Mary Crawley_ had been printed in every single one of those issues. Mary was so afraid that at some point, some way, someone would have stood up and pointed at her for being the offender of such scandal. The scene had played in Mary's head multiple times in different scenarios, no wonder she was feeling that cranky.

“I get it” Anna broke into her head bubble “You're not very talkative this morning. But I meant to ask you... Did you buy this magazine?” she eyed the magazine featuring her scandal on the first page.

“Why?” she asked nonchalantly. 

“I just don't really like how these magazines are making so much money with the story of this poor Mr Pamuk.”

Mary's heart missed a beat “What... What do you think about it?”

“About tabloids? That they should be banished! That is absolutely not the way mass media should work. They should inform people on important things, not laugh about other's misfortunes!”

“I didn't mean that. I meant about the story. About the death of this Turk.” 

Anna gave Mary an inquisitorial look “ Well... To be honest I don't think we should have opinions about it, but for the sake of this conversation I'm going to tell you that to me, this article is written completely in the wrong way.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean think about this girl. This Lady Crawley something. If you put her title aside you have a girl falling for a handsome foreigner. He came into her room and after he spent the night with her, he died in her bed. Think about what it must have been like! One minute you're kissing a man and the other he's dead, by your side!! I don't think I would've handled it! I would've gone completely insane!”

Mary felt her eyes tearing up and Anna looking at her puzzled. Before her blonde friend could speak, she dropped her spoon and ran to hug her as strong as she could.

Mary told Anna everything. Everything about Evelyn, her misguided feelings for Kemal, the look of horror and disappointment of her mother when she found her. She told her about the fear and the loneliness in having to completely give up her past life. How hard it was to be in your own world only to feel a complete outsider. And Anna _listened_ to her.

She didn't start asking question after question like Sybil, she hadn't shoot puns at her like Edith and she hadn't started making recommendations like her parents. She just stood there and listened. Until Mary had really nothing else to say.

“Mary” she then said “ I don't care about what you did. I only care about the fact that you're my friend and I love you. A couple of noble ass jerks don't want to talk to you? It's their loss. I'm glad for Mary Levinson, if you had been Lady Mary Crawley our paths would've probably never crossed”.

She was right. If none of this had happened, she would have probably been a stuck up bitch judging everyone inferior of her. She realized she was glad for Mary Levinson too, because she had been way more real than Lady Mary Crawley ever was.

 

~

 

It was almost time to go. Mary and Anna had put on their cocktail dresses and were finishing applying their make up. Mary was still looking at herself in the mirror in disbelief. She had no idea Anna was good with hairstyles. The updo she had done for her was both simple and sophisticated, and it was perfect for the Christ Church freshman cocktail.

The event was held in the dining hall, yep the very same where the shot Harry Potter. Mary thought that Sybil would have been thrilled. The room was crowded with students and faculties, and Mary was so glad that she had brought Anna with her. Every conversation anyone had with her had lasted about three minutes, most of them were pretty bored after acknowledging she was completely worthless. Plus whenever they overheard someone talking about the scandal, Anna would her hand and didn't let go until they were gone.

Later in the evening, after the dean's speech, Mary noticed someone who looked slightly familiar.

“Do you know him?” Anna had asked.

“He's the Duke of Crowborough” Mary specified “I'm pretty sure our mothers arranged a play date when we were kids.”

“Would he be able to recognize you?” Anna asked worried.

“Oh I don't think so. I recognize him only because his father died recently and his picture was in the papers.”

As Mary finished that sentence, the Duke had turned and walked towards them. Mary and Anna both gasped. In the end he only had flirtatious intentions because he'd heard she was a Levinson. His enthusiasm had sadly dyed down quickly after she'd told him she wasn't in any way related to the Film Industry.

“There's a rumor in the society in London that his father has left them more debts than money” Mary explained Anna “ and he's seeking for a fortune wedding in a fellow Oxford student.”

“That's so sad” Anna cried “I didn't think these things still happened in the 21st century.”

“The still happen within my people” Mary admitted “Especially when the title and the estate is at risk... _Oh My God no!_ ”

“What is it?” Anna asked alarmed “Did someone recognize you?!”

“No!” Mary said quickly turning her back “ It's that pretentious bafoon of an assistant!”

“Who? Mr Crawley?” Anna asked as Mary nodded “I think he's cute!”

“Cute?! I thought we had already established that he was a jerk!”

“Oh Mary! If it is still about that first day, I don't think he still remembers your snarky comment. There's more then a hundred students in that class. Plus, with all of those girls asking him question after the lesson's over, I don't think he will remember you out of everyone!”

Oh, that's right. Every girl in that class was daydreaming about that pretentious Matthew Crawley with his perfect blonde hair and his piercing blue eyes. But she knew better. She knew he was just pompous silly middle class lawyer who loved the attention he was getting. Not to mention the fact that he shared her last name, that was probably what Mary hated the most about it. But before she could finish her internal monologue, Matthew had dodged his previous company and was now heading in their direction. Mary decided to have faith in Anna's words and act like she hadn't even seen him.

“Hi! It's Mary Levinson, right?” he said, causing her to turn around.

“Yes” she said nonchalantly “ and this is my friend Anna Smith” she added.

“Nice to meet you” he said smiling and shaking Anna's hand “You're in Professor Murray's class too, right?”

“Yes, Mr Crawley.”

“Oh please, call me Matthew!” he replied nicely as Mary rolled her eyes “So Mary...” he then said startling her “Did you find my intervention the other day _remotely interesting at all_?” he shot her a smirk as he remarked his last few words.

Mary tried to keep her cool and not to give into his teasing, but took her time to give Anna one of her deadly looks. Anna did her best not to laugh her face off. How much she would have given for a bowl of popcorn at that very moment.

“It was ok, I guess.” she said without facing him.

“I'm asking you this because, you see, I was very surprised to find you quoting me in your paper.”

“ _What_?”

“I'm Professor Murray's assistant, you must know that I do correct the papers before he grades them.” his grin was so wide Mary knew he was enjoying this way too much.

“I merely did what the Professor asked” Mary's tone had become quite snobbish “It must have been a pretty good paper for you to remember it out of everyone else's.”

“Oh I don't know, I'm pretty good with names. Regarding the paper... well, it was a bit conservative for my taste.” he smiled hardly acknowledging Anna's presence.

“Anna, do you remember about that Latin Literature class I told you about?” Mary said at some point, apparently changing the subject. Anna nodded without letting the two of them out of her sight. It was too fun, she didn't want to miss a single facial expression.

“We are discussing Ovid's Metamorphosis this week.”

“I rather like Ovid” Matthew stated, mostly to show her that he did know what she was talking about.

“You see... I've always been really fascinated by the tale of Apollo and Daphne” she said with a grin.

“Whatever do you mean?” Matthew asked trying to read her expression.

Anna looked at the two of them carefully, she knew Mary well enough to know she was planning something. And that something didn't look good at all given the serious look she was giving Matthew in that very same moment. Triumphantly, the black haired beauty said:

“She was a strong, independent woman had tried to tell him politely that she wasn't interested. But he was full of himself, he was a god so he thought that he was better than anyone else, and decided not to stop pursuing her. In the end she was so annoyed that she preferred to be transformed into a laurel tree rather than having to listen to one more word from him.” he tone was so snobbish, her words so sharp sounding even mean, she was out of control.

Matthew felt completely interdicted by her assertion. You could have read in his eyes that he was just toying with her, that he didn't mean no harm after all. But he didn't know exactly how to respond to _that_. Finally it was Professor Murray himself who relieved the tension by calling out for him from the other side of the room. Matthew quickly wished them a pleasant night and reached his superior.

“ _Finally_ ” Mary commented.

Anna's jaw dropped “Mary!”

“What? I told you he was a pretentious jerk!”

“He's a bit pretentious ok... But I don't think he was the jerk tonight!”

“What... _me_?”

“Say what you like but I think he was just trying to make friends.”

“Make friends? He likes to torture me, that's all!”

“I don't think so. I've watched him, it doesn't look like he has so many friends here.”

Mary glanced at him in the distance, he was talking to men 20, 30 years older than him and he still had that hangdog face he had when he left.

“Do you think I was mean?” she asked starting to feel guilty.

“Let's just say that if your words could cut, he would be in a pool of blood by now.”

“Wow Anna, you do know how to make someone feel better about himself!”

“My pleasure” it was Anna's turn to grin now “Can we go at John's now?” she had her puppy eyes on.

“Fine” Mary sighed “If John decides to molest us, I can always cut him with my words”.

 

~

 

When Mary and Anna finally spotted the banner of the coffee shop down the street, they ran for the remaining mile. It was cold to be wearing only those cocktail dressed and their coats. They reached the shop and saw the all the lights were off. Anna tried to open the door or ring, but there was no answer.

“Well, we tried” announced Mary “Now let's get home before we freeze ourselves off.”

“No, silly... I have the key.” Anna searched in her purse until she found it and stuck it into the lock.

“Anna, you're such a good person and I love you, but we're going into the wolf's lair right now.”

“Oh Mary, you can be so judgemental some times!”

“I'm not being judgemental! But an older guy invites to young girls at his shop after closing hour, and the shop has all the lights down … this is a recipe for disaster!”

“John!” Anna called ignoring Mary once they were inside “John, it's Anna and Mary!”

 _Well_ Mary thought _at least we're not freezing anymore_.

Anna tried a couple of times more but there was no answer. A few minutes later they heard the sound of steps. Mary grabbed Anna's hand. A muffled voice took shape near them, even if they couldn't grasp where it came from.

“ _John someone's here_ ” the voice said, it sounded like a boy.

 _Tap tap tap_. More steps. And then a linear light came from the storage room's door.

“Anna?” now the could recognize John voice.

“It's us John, Anna and Mary!”

“Come into the storage room!”

 _Great, just great._ Mary couldn't believe how naïve her friend was! What was this? Some kind of orgy? Mary thought that she could have probably defended herself with a good kick with her five-inch heels. She stood behind Anna as they entered the storage room. It was a pretty standard storage room, but of course smaller than the one at Downton Abbey. Mary watched Anna gasp when she saw the end of the room. A set of shelves had apparently been moved to reveal the top of a spiral staircase. That was where the light was coming from, and now that they were closer, the music. 

At the top of the stairs John was waiting for them.

“You made it!” he smiled as they came closer and greeted them.

“What is this?” Mary asked.

John laughed at her impatience “You'll find out soon enough. Although I have to say that you're a little bit overdressed.”

Anna lifted her hands to the back of her head and started removing pins until her blond silky hair fell down her shoulders. She did the same to Mary's hair. “Is this better?” she asked John quite flirtatiously.

“Much better. Now follow me.” 

He led the way down that spiral stairs. The light and the music became stronger and stronger as the went down and was joined by the sound of people chatting. As they finally reached the destination, Mary and Anna gasped at the look of that place. It was a wide room with soft lights. There was a pool table to their left, a strangely shaped bookshelf, tables, chairs two sofas and a piano in the end of the room, that was where the music was coming from.

Mary was both surprised and relieved that the room wasn't filled with middle aged men, like in her worst case scenario, but with who appeared to be university students.

“What is this place?” Anna asked with wonder.

“I know you would've loved it. It's the place where all of the kids who are not in those exclusive upper class clubs hang out.”

“Hey!” the guy who was playing the piano approached them “Are these the girls you were telling us about?” the cheerful boy asked. John smiled and nodded “My name is William, it's very nice to meet you!”

“Nice to meet you William. I'm Anna Smith and this--”

“We don't do last names when we're in here. It's the golden rule, it doesn't matter who you are” William shook Anna's hand.

“Then it's Anna and Mary” Mary intervened shaking William's hand as well.

“This place is so cool, isn't it?” William asked excited “It's so cool that John's letting us hang out under his coffee shop!”

“I agree, it is very cool.” Anna smiled at John “But why all the secrecy?”

“I don't think John exactly has the licence to host a student bar...” William said.

“Especially I don't have the licence for all that alcohol” John teased eyeing at the “bar”.

“Don't forget we don't have a licence either” a thick irish accent had joined the conversation “There's a whole absurd bureaucratic path to get the recognition as one of the official Oxford's Student Clubs... Well not that they would give _any_ licence to me!” he laughed and was joined by William and John.

“These are Mary and Anna” William informed the new member of the group.

“Oh, I know her” he said pointing at Mary “My name is Tom” he said shaking both of their hands “Nice point you made in Human Rights class the other day.” he said to Mary “ It was a bit _conservative_ for my taste, but nonetheless very well put.”

Mary smiled “Thank you” she said as she remembered the very same words spoken by Matthew.

“Tom is the wild card in this place” William explained “ Always against the system” he laughed.

“Always!” Tom shouted visibly tipsy.

“But then again you came to study here” Mary teased.

“Well” Tom laughed “It's a pretty good place to get an education!”

John and the others showed them the rest of the place and introduced them to people, Anna even found Gwen, a girl she had many classes with. It was a nice evening, the laughed and danced and sang even. For those few hours Mary forgot about Downton, her boarding school, the Debutante Balls and all of those nonsense from her former world. It was nice to be just Mary for one night. No title and no last names.

 

~

 

Sunday morning Anna had practically thrown Mary out of bed. She had already all prepared for their picnic in the country side. Mary reluctantly had a shower and got dressed and then helped Anna loading the car's trunk with her bike. They drove for less than a hour and settled in a nice park. It was a very nice sunny day and the girls couldn't stop talking about the secret club. They'd had been all saturday and still couldn't stop. They had so much fun there and were already making plans for the next time that John was going to host. Mary had apologized to Anna about her misjudgement and was now talking wonders about the people they had met there. She was sure that her daddy would've screamed if he'd found out she was hanging out with that kind of people in an illegal setting. They weren't bad people anyway, they were just not her usual crowd. But Mary realized that that was what made that secret club so interesting, that made it work: no one fit with anybody else, they were all individuals and they were not going to apologize to anyone about who they were. Mary had decided to follow the same philosophy.

“Now, quit daydreaming and jump on it!” Anna called her.

“Anna... are you sure no one will see me?” she was scared.

“Really Mary? Come on!! Don't be a baby!”

Mary mounted on the bike and started to cycle slowly while Anna was helping her maintaining the balance.

“I will leave you shortly” Anna announced “but you have to keep going” the cycled a little while and then Anna said “3...2...1...” when she left her Mary was unprepared and fell on her side. Both girls laughed and tried several more times. In the end Mary managed to keep the balance.

“I'm doing it!! I'm doing it, Anna! I'm doing it!!” Mary shouted as she kept cycling around.

“Go Mary!! Whoooohooo!” Anna cheered her following her by foot.

 

Not too distant from them Matthew was enjoying a novel under a tree. He was distracted by the sound of laughter and thought he recognized those voices. He lift his gazed and noticed the blonde girl and the brunette laughing and running around. Matthew recognized the two students from his class. He observed them laughing and having a good time, and decided not to intervene. Instead he smiled to himself and returned to enjoy the novel on his lap in that beautiful sunny day.


	4. Expensive Coats and Extra Credits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mary finds a way to keep her mind off the scandal, and the advice comes from the less expected person.

**Chapter Four: Expensive coats and Extra Credit.**

 

The days that followed Mary realized that, being now a proper Oxford student cycling all around town, she needed to readjust her schedule. However, that tuesday morning, the thought didn't cross her mind at all, so she arrived to Christ Church very early. She parked her bike and popped into the class, only to find no living soul in there. So she decided to go spend her time in the Dining Hall, which wasn't opened to the public yet, so it was meant to be beautifully peaceful.

She entered the Hall completely empty and stopped to stare at the sunlight coming through the colored glass windows, which projected a beautiful interplay of colors along the entire length of the tables at the center of the room. She was so lost in admiring those colors and shapes that the sound of the door opening for another visitor completely startled her. It took her just a quick look to realize it was Matthew Crawley, Professor Murray's assistant. Mary turned her back quickly hoping not to be recognized, it was way too early for one of their confrontations.

“I'm very sorry, miss. I didn't mean to startle you.” he said very politely, showing he hadn't caught his companionship's identity.

Mary reluctantly turned to face him “ No problem” she said and saw his expression changing as he recognized her. Mary couldn't tell if he was either frightened or thrilled.

“Are you having a Harry Potter moment in here? Gushing over the very same spot where Daniel Radcliffe sat?” he was facing her with grin.

Mary sighed. She might have been rude that past week, but he really didn't know how to keep his mouth shut, did he? She decided, however, not to give in to her sharp tongue. 

“Not exactly” she said calmly “I really love the colored windows. I think they're so beautiful.”

Matthew stopped and smiled at her, this time there seemed to be no mockery in his words “Which ones are your favourites?”

Mary pondered for a few seconds “I think the ones featuring Alice, but that's maybe because I see some much of myself in Alice these days...”

“Do you?” he sounded interested.

“More than you know. Ever since I came here, it felt like stepping through the looking glass” Why was she telling him those things now? He was not her friend, he was nobody in fact, and she was supposed to despise him.

“Those words coming from you sound very strange” he chuckled.

“Why?” _was he teasing her again?_

“Because... I don't know, you look so fit for this place. Like you belong here.”

“Do you really think that?” 

Mary's eyes on him were intimidating. They made him think carefully on how he was going to respond, but he couldn't look away. They were so dark and bright at the same time, so intelligent. Matthew found his mouth dry so he nodded.

“Look, Mr Crawley...”

“Matthew” he corrected her almost unconsciously.

“Matthew …I'm very sorry about the other night.” she seemed sincere “It's just that I have a lot on my plate and I took it out on you.”

“It's fine” he blurted out “ I shouldn't have picked on you either.”

“No it's not fine. I really need to get a grip. Stop brooding about my fears..”

“Why don't you apply for that extra credit work for Professor Murray?” he interrupted her “ To keep your mind off things...” What was he doing now? Was he doing his job and helping out a student? Or was he really just finding an excuse to see that girl? That Mary Levinson? What was so compelling about her? She was really beautiful, he could see that but it wasn't exactly what drew him to her. What made him go after her even if she apparently despised him.

“I'll think about it” she said twisting that perfectly shaped lips into a smile, her eyes lighting up. Matthew noticed that she was one of the few people he'd met who could also smile with her eyes. He always thought you could say so much from a person's eyes, and those were a fine pair of eyes filled with mystery and charm.

“I looked it up, you know” he said without even thinking.

“What?” she asked curiously.

“Apollo and Daphne.”

Mary laughed thinking of her majestic act of bitchiness at the Cocktail Party “Did you now?”

“I did” he said smiling and turning his head to the Hall's windows “It turns out that Apollo was a victim of Eros's vengeance” he began “ Apparently Apollo had mocked Eros for his playing with bow and arrow instead of a real weapon and Eros took two arrows, one of gold and one of lead. The leaden one was loaded with hatred and was shot at Daphne, whereas the golden one loaded with love was shot at Apollo.”

“Where are you going with this?” she responded with a grin.

“Well... I'm just pointing out that _Daphne_ might have liked him after all, if she had the chance to meet him properly.” his piercing blue eyes were now facing hers. The light coming from the windows was making his golden hair and his wry grin shine.

“I guess we'll never know, won't we?” she replied with equal wit.

They both turned their head at the room once again, smiling to themselves. Mary took her mobile out of her pocket to check the time.

“Blimey” she cried “I came here because I was early and now I'm late” she explained to Matthew. She put the mobile in the bag again and put her coat on.

“I'll see you class tomorrow, then” Matthew said.

Mary smiled and waved at him while she exited the room.

 

 

  
  


The day after Mary arrived at Human Rights Law class early as always. She took her usual seat at the first row, took a sip of water an then started to go through the notes on her notebook. The class was beginning to fill up when she felt a hand on her shoulders.

“Hey” Mary turned to see her roommate Anna sitting in the place next to hers.

“You're early, what happened?” Mary asked excited.

“John finally found the way to change my shift” Anna explained cheerful.

“That's nice! I don't have to pretend to be a good student anymore” she joked eyeing at her notes.

“Oh look!” Anna cried patting her arm.

“What?” she asked trying to understand what she was looking at.

“ _Apollo_ 's here” Anna joked turning back to her friend.

Mary gave her an annoyed look and then noticed that Matthew was looking at them. When their eyes met he gave her a warm smile and she responded smiling and nodding.

“What is happening right now?” Anna asked puzzled.

“What?”

“Why aren't you giving him the _look_?”

“What look?”

“You know … the _Lady Mary Look_!” Anna laughed and got the Lady Mary look all for herself.

“Well... he might have caught me in a very fragile moment and I might have apologized to him...”

“Oh... I _see_. So now he's cool?” Anna was going into her inquisitorial mojo.

Mary decided to dodge the question “He suggested I sign up for those extra credits for Professor Murray, you know to keep my mind off things...”

“It's actually a pretty good idea” Anna voiced, thinking her friend could have used some work to keep her mind off the magazines that were still fueling the scandal “But aren't you afraid you're going to get too close to a certain _pretentious jerk_ we both know?” Anna asked with a grin. Her eyebrows were going up and down like in a third rate comedian's piece.

Mary bursted out laughing “Please stop that!” she said tapping on Anna's arm “But just so you know, that is _never_ going to happen!”

“Why?”

“I don't know! I guess I'm just not into it!”

“You are not into blonde hair and blue eyes? A charming smile and a bright future?”

“I don't know!” Mary responded annoyed “But I'm starting to think you are!” Why was Anna fixing so much on this, on him? Mary didn't know anything about this guy, _hell_ she didn't even consider him _tolerable_ twenty four hours before.

“Why are you insisting on my non existent love life, when you are the one who's denying having a crush for real?” Mary asked.

“You know what? It's true ok! I do have a crush on John, and I'm done lying to both you and myself. Mary I just want you to be happy. I want you to be more honest with yourself about your feelings, because if you don't you won't be happy. And you deserve all the happiness you can get.”

“And I'll try to be, I promise. But there's just no feelings to be sincere about for now” it was the truth, she didn't have any clear feelings for Matthew yet. Now that she had decided she wasn't going to hate him, she could see the appeal to him. He had very silky blonde and hair and eyes of an incredible shade of blue. He did have a charming smile, and his face didn't have harsh lines like most men, they were gentle making it more beautiful than handsome. She had to admit (but she was never going to say it aloud), she had felt some kind of a spark between them in the dining hall the day before. She had realized she liked to be challenged, it hadn't happened so often to her. But all that said, she really didn't know anything at all about Matthew Crawley, apart from the fact that he shared her surname but wasn't a relative (she would have known) and that he enjoyed going through latin literature just to prove a point. The rest was an absolute mystery: the charming young assistant who didn't look completely at ease in Oxford. With Mary's stupor, she realized that she did feel intrigued by that mystery after all.

The lesson started and Anna and Mary abandoned their frivolous topics to concentrate on the board. As the lesson ended, Mary noticed that Matthew wanted to come and say hi but was swept away by the usual crowd of girls asking for clarifications. Mary and Anna packed their bags and went by the Professor's desk where Mary decided to sign up for the extra credit. As she looked for the pen to sign the paper sheet she caught Matthew staring at her once again, but their gaze was interrupted by a hand patting Mary on the back.

“Hey there!” Mary recognized the unmistakable accent.

“Tom!” she greeted him, hurrying to sign the sheet.

“It's nice to see you both girls in here!” he said while they were exiting the class “Are you coming to the meeting tonight?”

“Sure!” Anna squealed.

“We couldn't miss it!” Mary smiled as the three of them were recovering their bikes. 

Anna and Mary laughed at the absurd stories Tom was telling them while they were still walking by their bikes on the pavement. They turned the corner and saw a group of people circling a duo. A few of them were laughing, the others were just witnessing the whole show.

“Isn't that Gwen?” Tom asked and the two girls recognized the ginger hair in the distance. The three of them sped up their pace to get closer, Mary and Anna recognized the Duke of Crowborough.

“Please don't do it! I don't have the money to buy another one!” Gwen's hoarse voice cried. The Duke was standing in front of her, two of his friends were holding Gwen's bicycle.

“You should have thought about that before you spilled your drink on my ten thousand pounds coat!” he said snobbishly and with a pocket knife he cut the bike's tire.

“Son of a b--” Tom cried starting to move in their direction, but Mary stopped him. She approached the ginger haired girl instead. Anna and Tom were puzzled.

“Give the bike back” she said in a strong posed voice.

“Look we think you're hot so we won't do anything to you, but stay out of this.”

“She's my friend” Mary blurted out “I mean it, give it back!”

“You know, you girl should be more careful with the value of things of others, you live in Oxford now! I don't of course expect you to realize how much everything I'm wearing is actually worth...”

“Well maybe...” Mary interrupted him “ You shouldn't wear those precious clothes everyday... Given what they say about you...”

“What do you mean?” there was panic in his eyes.

“Oh, you know... The rumor that is all over London.” Mary was fiercely holding the gaze. The Duke didn't know how to respond and his companions were starting to give him puzzled looks.

“What is going on here?” Mary turned to see Matthew who had just arrived.

The Duke gave the order to release the bike and he handed it to Mary “Nothing Mr Crawley, nothing at all.”

Mary smiled and gave an apologetic look at Matthew, as she walked Gwen to their friends. The crowd quickly dismantled as Matthew turned his head, the greedy Duke and his gorillas were nowhere to be seen and Mary, Anna and the guy he'd seen with them in class, were comforting the poor victim. He decided to give Mary and her friends some space and was quickly off.

“Don't worry about the tire Gwenie” Tom said as she sobbed “I'll fix you up with a new one from the shop, free of charge!” Both Anna and Mary smiled at Tom's kindness.

“Thank you” Gwen said “ and thanks Mary”

“No problem at all” she smiled as she patted her back, when she turned her head Matthew was gone.

 

 

  
  


 

“So just like that?” Mary asked puzzled while they were mounting on their bikes that evening “You'll go to him and ask him out? Tonight?”

“I'm very straight forward, Mary. I've not been taught how to be a lady like you.”

“Yes, but... shouldn't he be the one pursuing you?”

Anna chuckled “We're not in the middle ages anymore, Mary”

“Yes, but is it so wrong that I find it more romantic? If it's the guy who wins the heart of his beloved.”

“There's nothing wrong about it, but you'll be surprised how shy and naïve men are these days. You could be stuck waiting for them to make a move for a long time”.

Mary pondered on Anna's words while they cycled to the coffee shop. Pamuk surely hadn't made her wait, it was quite the contrary. But her newfound wisdom could tell her that what had happened between her and Kemal Pamuk had nothing to do with what Anna was talking about. Pamuk didn't love her, he didn't even care for her if he was going to jeopardize Mary and Evelyn's relationship. It was lust and from both sides. She didn't love him either which made her just as deprived as he was.

They parked their bikes and went straight into the shop and then down the spiral staircase. The atmosphere was as lively as ever. 

“There she is!” William laughed and called out for Mary.

“What is it? What have I done?” Mary asked puzzled.

“Gwen was telling us how you stood up for her this morning!” William informed her.

“Oh you should hear how sharp her tongue can be!” Tom intervened laughing while he was approaching with John.

“I've had the pleasure to witness it more than once!” Anna joined the general laughter.

“It was really nothing. That guy really needed a taste of his own medicine” Mary smiled.

“It wasn't nothing Mary” Gwen cried “ You saw all the people there, it wasn't just those posh boys... There were other people, you were the one who thought I was worth standing up for!”

“That's not true … Tom was ready get his hands dirty as well”

“That's because he's irish and loves a good fight!” John joked and punched him in a friendly way.

They kept chatting and while Anna was trying to get John's attention, William looked quite distracted. 

“What about a pool game?” Tom proposed and with Anna's disappointment John accepted.

“Wait guys! We haven't introduced Daisy to the girls yet!” William said looking at the back of the room.

“Oh right” John said “Daisy!” he called. A tiny girl approached them from the back of the room, she showed them a shy smile which lit up William.

“Daisy I wanted to introduce you to Mary and Anna. They are our new entries but we are already very fond of them.”

“Nice to meet you” she whispered.

“Hi Daisy! I'm Anna!”

“And I'm Mary” she smiled “ What's your major?”

“Oh no, Daisy's not a student” John specified.

“I bake the cakes for the coffee shop” she smiled “ I work at Patmore's Bakery in Regent's street.”

“They're so good, aren't they? The cakes.” William intervened overexcited.

“Very” Mary answered William to make things less awkward.

The boys headed to the pool table and Daisy went to her friend in the back of the room. Mary and Gwen sat on the sofa comforting Anna's disappointment.

“What is it with all of you tonight?” Mary cried as Gwen giggled “You trying to get John's attention and William doing his puppy eyes for that girl Daisy!”

“Ahaha love's in the air” Gwen commented.

“It is” Anna grinned “but for her too” she punched Mary affectionately.

“Really? Do tell Mary!”

“What? There's nothing to tell!”

“Mr Crawley, Professor Murray's assistant has thing for Mary” Anna gossiped giggling for the wine.

“Anna! You're still on with this!”

“Is he the faculty who broke up the fight today?” Gwen ignored Mary as Anna nodded “He's cute!”

“What is it with everyone!!” Mary cried as both girls laughed.

“Mary stop denying it you too realize that Matthew wants to get into your pretty designer pants!” Anna's statement was followed by a hiccup.

“You're drunk honey!” Mary laughed at her friend's tipsiness “But Matthew hasn't got those intentions. Plus I don't think it would be proper... him being a faculty.” then her phone buzzed and she took it out of her pocket. It was an email alert.

“Who's that?” Gwen asked as Anna peeked.

“What? Matthew Crawley? You gave him you number and didn't tell me?! You little bitch!” Anna started to laugh hysterically.

“It's his gmail account silly!” Mary specified as she read the email. It was strange, but in a certain way she was disappointed that the formality of that message agreed with her version of facts. Matthew was being the Professor's assistant and nothing more.

 

_Dear Miss Levinson,_

_I have the pleasure to inform you that Professor Murray has accepted your application for the extra credit activity. You'll have to come to the study three times a week starting monday after class._

_Greetings,_

_MC_


	5. Fathers and Girlfriends

**Chapter Five: Fathers and Girlfriends**

It had been an interesting weekend. On friday Anna had woken up with biggest hangover ever. Luckily she didn't have to work, so Mary could take care of her in between her classes. It wasn't the first time she had dealt with the consequences of a night of drunkenness, things inside a boarding school can get quite boring. She hadn't, of course, helped anyone herself, it had been mostly others helping her or her witnessing someone helping somebody else. It was the first time she had gotten  _her hands dirty_ , and she was happy it was for Anna.

The other unusual part of her weekend was how many times Sybil had texted her and tried to call her. It wasn't unusual that Sybil would complain about their parent's strictness and be absolutely dramatic about it, but something told Mary there was more to the story. For starters she wondered how she managed to call her and text her so many times. You didn't usually get so much time with your mobile phone in boarding school, not to mention how bad the reception was. But the strangest thing was that, every time Mary tried to ask here directly what was actually going on, Sybil would turn incredibly evasive and cut the conversation short.

Filled with all these thoughts, Mary stepped into the kitchen on Monday morning, after she had showered and got ready.

"You're up!" Mary cried surprised to see her friend up and about. Anna had been in ice cream and romcom duty all sunday.

" I have to go to work today."

"Didn't they change your shift to the afternoon? So you could make it to lesson on time?"

"One of the other employees got sick and I really need to be there." she sounded very serious.

"Can I ask you what happened? Or you'll threaten to bite me again?" Mary stole Anna a smile. Apparently on thursday night, while being completely drunk, Anna had spoken to John in the end but both Mary and Anna were completely oblivious of the content of her speech.

"I still haven't talked to him after thursday. On friday he was working and I was not and on saturday it was all the other way around. You bloody well know how I spent yesterday. My God I don't know how to face him!" she brought her hands on her face.

"Look it doesn't mean anything. He might have just thought you were drunk, which you were. Plus... you were so confident that night, where has it all gone?"

"I was stupid, that's what I was! What was I thinking? He's my boss!"

"You were just being spontaneous. Come on, you don't need to be so moody about it! John is a good man, I don't think he would completely severe our relationship just because of a drunken speech." Mary opened a drawer and picked her pink thermos "And I don't want to be the friends that fills you with false hopes, but I've watched John and think he likes you too." Mary started to fill the thermos with tea.

"I don't know Mary. I thought so too, that's why I was to determined to make a move, but he didn't call me the whole weekend. He just texted if I could come in this morning."

"Look, it's no use talking about  _what ifs_. You go in today and face him. And if it's necessary, you text me and I'll bring more ice cream after I'm done with the extra credit."

"Right!" Anna lit up all at once " It's today!" she grinned "That's why you look so cute today! You want to impress Matthew!"

"For your information, I'm going to work for Professor Murray, Matthew might not even be there. I've been thought that looking good at your first day of work is a perfect business card." she spoke her words solemnly.

"I know, I'm just messing with you!" Anna laughed "But I really like the leather shorts and the blazer!"

"I wanted to go with a dress originally, but then I thought about the bike... and plus it would be too showy."

"I'm sure Matthew wouldn't mind" Mary threw a scone at her "Alright, alright I'm sorry" Anna laughed.

Mary closed carefully her thermos and placed it in the side pocket of her purse. She gave a quick look around for the keys and the mobile, that started to ring before she could find it. Anna found it and gave it to her.

"Is it Sybil again?" she asked.

"Yep.  _This so lame, even Edith doesn't understand. Miss you. Xxx_ " Mary read aloud.

"Poor Edith" Anna cried " I can't believe she's so bad as you two picture her."

"Oh but the rivalry is just between Edith and me, Sybil is just complaining about everything these days. I would really like to know what is going on. Maybe I'll call my mother later."

"Yes maybe it's best. Well see you in class then!"

Mary smiled as she walked to the door "Don't forget to text me!" she said while wearing her coat.

* * *

Anna ha arrived late to class, so she had sat with Tom in the back. Before Professor Murray called for Mary, Anna only had the time to tell her that  _It was a long story, best told at home._

Mary half smiled to her friend and followed the Professor with an apologetic look.

"Good Morning Miss Levinson" the funny man said through his mustache.

"Good Morning professor!" she greeted him cheerfully "What do I begin with?"

"Just go to the second floor, third door to the left and bring these files with you." Mary nodded and took the files case, she waved at the professor before going out of the class. Up the stairs she identified the corridor where all the studies were and went for the third door on the left. She knocked but there was no answer, so she opened the door. It was a big room divided in two by a small wall, on the first part there was a smaller desk, on the back you could see a bigger one which probably belonged to Professor Murray. On the floor almost submerged by files there was Matthew with no jacket and the sleeves of his shirt rolled up.

"Oh Mary!" he cried as he saw her "Just.. just put those files there and wait for a second until I get lunch" he said standing up in a hurry and reaching for his wallet. He exited the study but his head popped in again short after "Is a club sandwich good for you?" he said panting.

"Sure" she nodded, boy the guy looked overworked. She put the file case where Matthew told her and gave a quick look around. That place was a mess, no wonder they needed some help.  _Men_ she thought. She worked out that the smaller desk must've been Matthew's and she got the confirmation when she saw his Cambridge diploma hanging on the wall.  _Cambridge?_ she thought  _Interesting._  Just a few minutes later he was back with the lunch bag and his infamous grin.

"Here" he said handing her the lunch "I got you also a diet coke. You seem to me like a diet coke time".

Mary chuckled "Thanks. How much do I owe you?"

"Oh no no, nothing. It's your first day, it's on me!"

Mary thanked him and there was a small awkward moment between them.  _Was he being shy?_  "Do you... I mean" she began " Are you sure you want to keep that hanging?" she pointed at the diploma.

"Ah!" he grinned " You found out I graduated from Cambridge!"

"You have been the mole all along!" she joked as she sipped her coke.

Matthew was so distracted by the way she laughed, it was so mesmerizing. The way she wrinkled her nose and put her hand politely on her mouth was cute and incredibly sexy at the same time. He definitely needed to make her laugh more.

"You should pity me instead of making fun of me! I'm the poor Cambridge boy surrounded by all of you mean Oxfordians!" he cried.

Mary laughed again "I'm sorry, I'd much rather make fun of you. It gets easier and easier." but Matthew was not sorry at all. He would have made much more a fool of himself if that meant seing that perfect nose wrinkled up again. But then he looked at the time and realized he was supposed to be working and not flirting with a nineteen years old student.

"Ok, I think it's time to get to work."

"You're right" Mary sobered up from her laughter "Is the professor coming?"

It was Matthew's time to chuckle "Not a chance. He comes only for office hours, the dirty job is left to us."

"What do you need me to do?"

"Basically there's no more space in here, so we have to file all of this papers by year and shove them into the closet right there" he pointed at a small door on the left.

Mary took a seat on the floor as well and started going through those old papers.

" Oh please, don't sit on the floor" Matthew ordered " Take a seat at my desk, please".

Mary smiled and sat on Matthew's much more comfortable chair. She started to sort the papers per year until something caught her eye. On the desk there was Matthew's laptop left opened and the screensaver had started moving on the screen. Mary smiled to herself watching those pictures of Matthew smiling with his sunglasses on, on what appeared to be a sunny day in Greece. But just a few picture later there she was, that girl. At first Mary said to herself that she could be his sister (she had strawberry blonde hair and light eyes), but then there was a picture of them kissing with a beautiful greek landscape of blue sky and white houses behind them.

"Who is she?" the words escaped her mouth before she could stop herself.

Matthew turned his head to face his laptop and the picture "I forgot about those" her mumbled "She is my..."  _what was she to him at this point?_

"She's your girlfriend, right?" Mary asked nonchalantly.

"It's complicated" he blurted out but felt Mary's eyes still on him "We're on a break."

"Oh I see" Mary commented turning her head to the papers "So you're doing some soul searching here..."

"That's one way to put it" Matthew smiled "We've been together for six years now and things got pretty stiff." Why on earth was he telling  _her_ all of this?

"And I'm sure you have very different concept of  _break_. She probably thinks you are just spending some time apart without compromising anything while  _you_ on the other hand, think you can act like you're broken up completely for a while."

"Isn't that what having a break means?" Matthew asked puzzled.

"Not to a girl" Mary said.

"Whatever we both mean, this time apart will help us figure out how to move on. If together or..."

"Or apart" Mary completed Matthew's sentence. They looked at each other for an infinite moment "What... what's her name?" she asked breaking eye contact.

"Lavinia, Lavinia Swire" Matthew felt so weird to say her name at that time, especially to Mary.

"Swire? As in Ministry of Education Swire?" she asked.

"Precisely" Matthew smiled "But it's not her father, he's her uncle. Her dad is a lawyer just like me".

 _Mmm_ Mary pondered  _Possibly clingy girlfriend with daddy issues, what could the outcome be?_  And then Mary stopped to think about it. Why was she being such a bitch now? She didn't even know the girl. The only thing she knew for sure at that moment was that she was very pretty with her green eyes and her silky ginger hair, and most of all she was her complete opposite.  _Wait._ Why was she doing that again?  _Comparing herself to Lavinia?_

"Are you done with those?"

"What?" she said returning to reality.

Matthew chuckled "The papers? Have you finished sorting them."

"Yes" Mary answered looking at the piles of papers "But there are papers from ten years ago at least."

"That's because he never got an assistant" Matthew said standing up "Come on, we have to put those older papers at the top of the shelves in the closet"

Mary put the papers in folders and labeled them and followed Matthew as he led the way. The closed was small and dusty. They both spotted a ladder in the corner. Matthew took it out and opened it to climb up to the top shelf.

" It doesn't look safe" Mary pointed out eyeing the wonky old ladder.

"Mmm... You're right" Matthew checked the whole thing out "I guess you will have to climb up."

"Me?" she said blushing.

"You are lighter than me. There can be less damage done if you do it".

Mary sighed and gave Matthew the files she was holding.  _Thank God she hadn't worn a dress_  she thought as she climbed up. Matthew at the back of the ladder was looking at her enchanting backside in those perky little shorts going right to left as she went up.

"Where do I put the older ones? Earth to Matthew!"

"What? Uh?" he asked blushing violently "Here" he passed he a folder "Older on the right, newer on the left" he said clearing his throat "Be careful" he added as he saw the ladder shaking.

In placing one of the folder she hit inadvertently another one, which fell on Matthew's head.

"Ouch" he cried.

"I'm so sorry!" she said turning her head down to Matthew "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine" he said massaging his temple "Please just be more careful"

"No, really... are you ok?" she said stretching a little bit too much "Shall I come down?"

"I said I'm f-"

"Aaaah!" Mary screamed as she lost her balance.

Matthew looked up and with agility he caught her before she hit the floor. They both stopped for a moment, panting. They were looking at each other in the eyes and blushing without saying a word. Their faces were so close to one another, Mary could see all of the striations in his irises and the veins pulsing on his temple and down his throat. Those eyes were really the prettiest she had ever seen.

Matthew swallowed nervously, she was so close. He was actually holding her in his arms. One arm was supporting her beautiful long legs wrapped in those old rose tights, and the was holding her up to her tiny waist. Her brown hair were all pushed back and her eyes were fixed on him. But it was her lips he couldn't take his eyes off. Those beautiful full lips vibrating for all the panting. He could have kissed her in that very same moment. God only knew how much he wanted to. But it wouldn't have been right, not in that place like a thief stealing a kiss that way to her. Not to mention unprofessional. It was already bad enough that he was having those kind of thoughts about one of the students, let alone giving in to those feelings in Professor Murray's study during office hours.

"You can let me down now" Mary said breaking into his daydreaming. Matthew let her down and they resumed their filing with a little bit more care than before. When the clock stroke two pm, Mary started to collect her things and then wished Matthew a pleasant day.

"Wait Mary, I have to ask a favour of you"

 _A favour_ "Shoot"

"I know you're supposed to come on wednesday now, but can you come on thursday instead? I'm supposed to be here that day, but I have an important meeting with a client for my actual job that day." he explained "You'll just have to keep filing and answer to the telephone and take notes for the Professor. Can you do that?"

"Sure" she said " So I don't have to come on wednesday?"

"No, you don't. I'll be covering for you instead" he smiled and waved at her as she exited the office.

Mary walked down the stairs and reached for her bike. She had to admit that she was a bit disappointed that she wouldn't have seen Matthew that wednesday or thursday. She couldn't explain why, but she had fun that day. But none of this was going to be referred to Anna, otherwise she would have made it bigger than it actually was.  _Anna_ she thought. Of course, she had to ride as fast as she could to see how her friend was doing. The word  _complicated_ never meant anything good.

* * *

So apparently Anna had told John her piece of mind the week before when she was drunk. She had, but it hadn't freaked John out as both Anna and Mary had suspected. He had been very flattered and incredulous that Anna had took and interest on him, and wasn't quite sure how to face her either. But then that monday morning they had talked and sorted everything out, it was a good thing that Anna was very straight forward. John had confessed he wasn't immune to her charm, and he would have never given in those feelings for her, given their age difference. And while the age gap made a very convincing point by itself, he had told her that he had a past which wasn't going to let him go so easily and he certainly didn't want to drag Anna into that.

It was tuesday night and the girls had decided to stay home, order a pizza and watch a movie and finally spend some time just the two of them.

"I won't give up on him, you know." Anna had said when the topic came up again. Mary knew that every proper best friend would have told her that men would tell you anything just to avoid any kind of real confrontation, but Anna swore that John was telling the truth.

"He probably thinks I'm just a kid and that I can't handle it. That's why I want to prove him wrong."

"Wouldn't it be best for you both to just forget about it? I mean you are getting along just fine..."

"That's not the point. Mary … I don't know if I'm ever going to feel this way again. I don't want to wake up in 15, 30 years and regret not taking a risk."

Mary listened and thought that somehow it all made sense. She wondered if it was the same feeling which had drawn her to Pamuk. In reality John was not Pamuk, and Anna wasn't her old self at all. Those were two completely different situations, but the main question was the same:  _was that promised feeling of happiness worth suffering all the horrible consequences?_

Maybe Anna was supposed to suffer terribly because of John, but maybe she was not. Mary could only hope that her friend would be left untouched. And if she wouldn't Mary would have been there for her, just as Anna had been for her, al throughout that nightmare that seemed to be coming to an end.

"I'm so stupid!" Anna cried at some point.

"Why?" Mary chuckled.

"We've been talking about me and John for the past few days and I haven't even asked you about your one-on-one with Matthew the hot assistant!"

"Are we changing his nickname week by week?"

"Stay on topic!"

"Nothing to declare!"

"Mary!" she growled.

"Oh wait, there's something" Mary said amused by Anna's expression " He has a girlfriend!"

"WHAT?!"

"Yep. He had pictures of their vacation in Greece as his screensaver."

"But are you sure she wasn't his sister? Is she totally ugly at least?"

"Cute as a button. And yes I'm sure, I asked him."

"You did?"

"Yes, he even explained to me how they're on a break and stuff."

"That's it! I knew I hadn't misread the signals! He came here to keep his mind of things and found himself tangled in the very sweet Mary net" they both bursted out laughing.

"You mind runs wild" Mary laughed "You should be the one in creative writing class, not me!"

"Anyway... I'm sorry about the girlfriend. But if it's meant to be, I'm sure he'll come around."

"Anna, don't worry! I'm not sad or anything, I don't even like him!"  _Did she? Did she, really?_

"Well, I won't apologize for wanting to babysit babies with pretty blue eyes in the future!".

As both girls laughed and threw popcorn at each other the door bell rang.

"Who can it be at this hour?" Anna cried.

"Did you give John your address?" Mary asked.

Anna shook her head "Did you? I mean... to Matthew?"

"Are you for real?" Mary complained throwing a pillow at her face "I'm going to answer the door." Mary walked by the door and opened it, she couldn't believe it "Daddy?! What are you doing in here?!" she cried as she jumped on him.

"Well, aren't you going to let your old man in?"

"Of course!" she said making room for him to enter "Come on in!" Mary led him to the living room where Anna had stood up "Anna this is my father. Dad this is my friend Anna"

"It's a pleasure to meet you Lord Grantham!" Anna said shaking his hand.

"Please Anna, call me Robert. My wife and I are so very grateful that Mary found such a precious friend in you. And we are very obliged to you for keeping the secret."

"Mary is a precious friend to me as well. You are not obliged to me at all" she smiled.

"Well, Daddy what are you doing here? Are you spending the night here?"

"Oh no no, I would never want to impose to you girls. I'm staying in a hotel. I'm sorry I didn't call you before, but the whole thing was kind of rushed."

"No problem, it's very nice to see you" Mary smiled whole-heartedly.

"You too darling" Robert smile soon turned in a very serious and almost sad expression "But I am here for a reason, I really need to talk to you."

"Please take a seat, then. I can make you some tea."

"No honey, not tonight. I'm tired from the journey and I'm meeting some old friends for drinks."

"Ok, so tomorrow then? You can come here in the afternoon and-"

"It would be best for me not to be seen coming and going from your house. I don't want to mess up your cover" Mary felt a little hurt "Do you know a place where we won't be seen by people I know?"

"There's the coffee shop where Anna works. It completely on the other side of the university."

"It's settled then. I'll see you tomorrow sweetheart." he said as he kissed her cheek. Mary accompanied him to the door wished him good night once more. While she and Anna resumed the movie watching, Mary couldn't help but wondering what all that seriousness was about? Was it about Sybil? Had something happened to her? She had to tell herself that she would have found out soon enough.

* * *

Mary cycled as fast as she could in the direction of the coffee shop. There was a public protest near the college which had slowed her down and she was now late for her date with her father. As she saw the shop's banner in the distance, she recognized her father's old fashioned hat and called out for him.

"Look at you!" he smiled brightly "Cycling around like a proper Oxford student!" he was about to tear up.

Mary parked her bike and approached him "Don't be so proud! You know I didn't know how to ride the bike until a month ago?"

"Really?" he chucked.

"Yes mister! Anna taught me."

"Well, I'm proud anyway. I want you to know that, I am proud whatever comes."

Those words took Mary a little bit by surprise. What did he mean? Maybe their  _talk_ wasn't about Sybil after all. They stepped into the coffee shop and they both waved at Anna, alone at the counter. They took a seat and waited for Anna to bring them some tea, Mary had her eyes fixed on him.

"Dad, please whatever it is just tell me."

Robert sighed " Perhaps it's time."

 _It was time? What_  were they keeping from her?  _How long_ had they keeping it from her?

"Darling we are so proud that you could build a life in here at Oxford, that you did it all yourself. And it is because I know you are not alone, that I think you can handle it now."

"What can I handle?" every single word she spoke were careful and frail.

"Mary, Pamuk's parents have decided to sue us."

"Sue us?" the words echoed in her head.

"They seem to think that your...encounter may have caused the heart attack and-"

"Please Dad, I understand you don't have to-"

"No Mary" he was as serious as ever "You don't understand. Turkey is a fragile country, things are strained between them and the European Union. Darling I'm not saying it's your fault, but..."

"But it is." Mary sipped her tea and Robert took his hand.

"We have hired a very good lawyer. I promise you, we're going to make this go away. It's not even in the papers anymore." Mary hoped with all her heart that he was right.

"What's going on with Sybil?" she asked holding on her tears.

"Well... that's another masterpiece."

"Has she fought with mom again?"

"She's been kicked out of boarding school."

"What?!"

"Mary we don't know what to do with her anymore. Every thing we try goes directly back to our faces."

"She's not a bad girl, you know that..."

"I don't know anything anymore. But there's one more thing I had to tell you. We might have agreed to send her her for a weekend."

"What? She messes up and you reward her?"

"We could tell she needs some air. And she misses her sister" Mary's frown turned into an understanding smile "Plus we think that having her mad at us and miserable won't help anyone."

"Alright. I do want to see the little devil again" Robert chuckled and placed a kiss on Mary's temple.

"Anna, I'm sorry I'm late!" John stepped into the shop.

"No worries" Anna smiled.

"Hi John!" Mary shouted from the back of the room.

"Hey Mar-" but before he could finish, his jaw dropped in Mary's direction. Mary turned to see his father bearing the same expression.

"John?" he whispered surprising Mary.

"Robbie?" the other one responded.

 _Robbie?_ Mary thought. She had never heard anyone call his father that, not even her grandfather. As the two hugged and talked to each other, Mary approached Anna at the counter.

"What was that all about?" Anna asked puzzled.

"Apparently John and my dad fought together in the war in Bosnia" Mary told her incredulously.

"Really?"

"He must be the John he always talked about. The twenty years old soldier who saved his life."

"He is" Robert said as both men approached them "Bates my dear fellow is so good to see you. It's so crazy to find you here!"

"You always talked so well about Oxford in Bosnia, so when I got the money I decided to come here. And Mary is your daughter? That's crazy! I thought her last name was Levinson!"

"It is here" Anna said " and please John it has to stay that way".

They explained everything to John in a very summarized version, and John of course agreed to keep Mary's secret as well. As they were saying goodbye, Mary pondered on how more than ever she was walking on shifting sands. John knew her secret now . How much more time before someone else would found out too, especially with the lawsuit? Mary kissed her dad and told herself the only thing she could do was stay strong and carry on.

"Are you leaving tonight?" she asked her dad.

"I'm leaving tomorrow afternoon actually."

"Too bad, I have classed in the morning and work in the afternoon!"

"Don't worry darling, I'm only staying longer because I have a business meeting. I'll see you for the holiday, and please keep an eye on Sybil when she comes."

* * *

"I'm sorry, Mr Crawley I'm afraid I didn't understand properly"

Lord Grantham and Matthew Crawley were meeting in a dusty old office at the Oxford firm. More than anything they wanted to keep out of the public eye.

"What I am saying is that Mr Kemal Pamuk did a physical examination when he first came to England. The doctor who examined him had identified a particular heart condition. But to have that result public would have meant preventing Mr Pamuk to participate in this honourable riding competition. So he paid the doctor to keep that record hidden. Since he is dead now the doctor was able to tell me about it."

"So... let me get this straight. This proves that my daughter is not responsible at all for his death, am I right?"

"It will in the long run, but for now I'm confident it is enough to keep the case out of court. I think we negotiate without dragging the public eye into it."

"Well that is a good start. Well done, chap!"

"I will have to talk to your daughter in the end , sir. Even without going to court, I will need her statement."

"I know..." Robert thought for a moment about Mary and how happy she looked in Oxford, how could a father bear the thought of destroying such happiness? "All I ask is that you continue on this path for now... I want to keep my daughter away from this as much as possible."

"I understand".


	6. Drawers and Costumes Parties

**Chapter Six: Drawers and Costume Parties**

It seemed that despite all the warnings that he could give her, things with Anna and John were moving forward. After she gave him the ' _I'm not going to give up on you'_  speech, it had seemed impossible to be apart, pointless like separating two magnets which were going to be reunited eventually. The shadow of John's past was always hunting them, but in that specific moment they were actually properly happy and decided to be selfish about it.

Mary had inevitably become the custom third wheel, apart from when the club met and they were so happy and perfect for each other it was almost painful to watch. But witnessing so many fuzzy feelings, had inspired Mary to actually come to term with the ones of her own. She couldn't quite define her feelings for Matthew, but she wasn't going to stubbornly deny them either anymore. As the time she spent with her best friend and her almost-complicated-boyfriend became less appealing by the day, she realized she had reached the point of considering her office hours her safe haven, she had actually began to look forward to them. She loved spending time in that dusty old office, filing, chatting and occasionally glancing at the cute assistant's butt. That was nothing bad in simply looking,  _wasn't it_? She had also admitted to herself that she really enjoyed her little talks with Matthew. They talked about all sorts of things and disagreed on almost all of them, but that didn't make them any less enjoyable. She was beginning to know more and more about Matthew Crawley, and she simply couldn't deny the fact that she liked it. But that didn't necessarily make things any less complicated because he  _did have_  a girlfriend, whether she liked it or not, and those lovely little chat of theirs were simply not enough to decipher his feelings for her. Mary was no Anna, she wasn't going to blurt out to him some feelings she wasn't even sure she had. Not if she wasn't  _absolutely sure_  that he shared the same ones for her. She wasn't going to submit to heartache and embarrassment. Her heart had already suffered enough, the next time she was going to give it away, she had to be completely sure. Even Anna had realized how Mary must have been feeling and she had stopped with the Matthew jokes, Mary loved her so much because of that.

So, on the light of those recent events, Mary was actually looking forward to spend some time with her favourite sister. Not only for the obvious reasons, but also because she wanted to be helpful to her parents if she could. Sybil arrived on thursday night, and was already able to turn their evening upside down. Luckily Anna seemed to love her just as much as she did.

"I don't know how can you bear it to go to school here!" Sybil had cried that friday morning.

"What do you mean darling?" Mary had asked amused, while she and Anna were cooking breakfast for the guest.

"I don't know... everyone is just so  _preppy_ , so uptight. It's like boarding school only multiplied for a hundred!" she cried dramatically.

Anna and Mary chuckled "You'd be surprised to know how much you can be wrong" Mary warned her sharing a complicit look with Anna.

"Oh wait, I didn't mean to say that Anna is preppy! No Anna you're pretty cool, and you Sis... you're actually way cooler than you used to be."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"I mean it that way, I promise" Sybil's expression darkened "I'm just tired of this posh, strict and false world. I want to be able to say what I think, to be myself! I don't get why our parents have to force us in this...  _bubble_ when the outside world, the  _real_  world is something completely different."

"What did mom and dad say about the new school, the have any ideas?"

"They want to send me to another boarding school of course, and they won't negotiate on this point. But please let's just not talk about this. I want to enjoy this weekend with you, I don't want to think about how miserable I'll be for the next two years."

Mary looked at her beautiful sixteen years old sister. She was growing prettier and prettier by the day. That's why Mary hated to see such sadness on that beautiful face. Sybil still hadn't told her what had happened in her past school, and Mary wasn't going to force her but she did wish her sister would've opened up to her.

"So..." Mary said standing up " I have class and extra credit today, and Anna has to work. Here's a spare key, you have a look around town and don't get in troubles!"

"Really?!" Sybil shot up her chair and went to hug her sister tight "You are going to trust me and give me the keys and treat me like an adult?!"

"Not so fast" Mary chuckled "But I'm not locking you up, so don't make me regret it."

"You're the best sister ever and I love you!" Sybil ran upstairs excited and Mary and Anna laughed as they cleaned the breakfast table.

* * *

It had been a pretty standard day, Mary was quite tired and disappointed by the fact that Matthew wasn't in the office that day. Instead the Professor had paired her with an awkward student from the second year, who was also doing extra credit. The guy was so shy, he hadn't said a word to Mary the whole time. She was sincerely beginning to think he'd never been alone with a girl in a room before. When the most boring two hours of her life were finally over, she cycled quickly to her flat where she found Anna but still not Sybil. She didn't have to worry too much, because her little sister had came back within the hour. In the mean time, Anna had told Mary about another club meeting that night, but they both decided it was best not to expose Sybil to it. It was already risky for John to host the secret bar, but at least none of them was underage. Mary told Anna to go and that they would have told Sybil she was going to a romantic date with John. Anna promised she would have found a fun activity for the following night in which they could have included Sybil as well. When the feisty teenager stepped back into the flat, Mary and Anna told her their piece and the sisters settled for some family time at home. Mary was tired and Sybil's feet hurt after all.

"It's so weird that Anna is dating the infamous soldier who saved daddy's life, isn't it?" Sybil said placing the nachos and dip sauce on the coffee table.

"Yep, it is kind of crazy..."

"Maybe this town isn't so bad after all" she smiled to herself.

Mary looked at her suspiciously "You've changed your tunes."

"As granny would say:  _I am a woman Mary, I can be as contradictory as I like._ " she said imitating their grumpy old grandmother.

Mary chuckled "Do you think you can tell me what happen now that we're alone?"

"If you really must know" Sybil looked annoyed but Mary was waiting " I ruined the headmistress's fur with fake blood."

"You what?" Mary asked containing her laughter.

"Look I know what you're going to say, because it's the same thing all of those shrinks will tell mom and dad. That I'm acting out because I'm the baby of the house and I want all the eyes on me and all that crap... But it is not because of that, I swear. I simply believed that was wrong and I wanted to show my opinion. I have beliefs and I won't apologize for them." but even then she didn't sound so convinced herself.

"What happened to you wanting to go to the same school as your older sisters and following our footsteps?"

"Mary I was a child when I said those things. I also believed in unicorns and the fact that we were all going to be best friends for ever us three."

Mary pondered on how a unicorn would be more plausible than a friendship between her and Edith.

"Yes but you still gotta have some self preservation left. You knew would've been kicked out after you freed the lab rats and wore that mini skirt for your proclamation of self expression. What is going on?"

"You haven't been there Mary, it's been horrible this year."

Mary's eyes flashed with horror "I'm sorry... I was so busy thinking about how much I was suffering, that I didn't realized that my actions would have affected you girls as well" she felt so guilty and sad.

Sybil took her hand " It's not your fault, it's this stupid system! You made a mistake and that makes you human, and believe me … I'm glad to know that your are human after all and not our perfect first daughter" Mary laughed bitterly "Besides … It has been nasty at first, but it calmed down pretty quickly … It's Edith who has made it all the more horrible!"

"What do you mean?"

"She's decided that this is her last year, and she's not living under your shadow anymore, she's going to make the best of it. Instead of standing up for you she joined the mean girls group and doesn't even acknowledge my existence in there. It's like she's gone mad!"

Mary felt a little betrayed. Sure she and Edith had never gotten along, sure she should be pissed for suffering the consequences of Mary's actions, but Mary thought that at least, deep down her sister loved her.

"I don't want you think badly of her, Mary..."

"Oh don't worry darling, I'd say she makes a damn good job herself..."

"She loves you, I'm sure she does. But there's more."

"What more can there be?"

"She's got her preliminary score, and it's very high. Plus she's done so many extra-curriculars, which means..."

"She's going to get into Oxford" Mary concluded.

"Yes, and Dad hinted that she might have to go by pseudonym as well if this thing hasn't settled yet."

"I see..." Mary wrapped her arms around her legs in fetal position.

"Do you understand why I needed to get away from all of that nonsense? You living up here on your own, like a normal girl... You have no idea how I envy you. You can finally be yourself and people look at you for what you are, not your name."

Mary smiled at her sister "Maybe in another school it will be different... Edith won't be there" Mary joked and they decided to watch a disney movie wrapped under the same blanket.

* * *

Saturday Mary had announced Anna that she was spoken for, at least for the greatest part of the day. In the sisterly coziness of night before Mary had promised Sybil to escort her to one of those surrealistic art exhibition which her little sister loved so much and then to give her a proper tour of the town. Both Mary and Sybil had decided to doll up for the occasion ( to Sybil looking trashy was disrespectful towards the artist), Mary had her wavy hair down, a pretty dress and red beret which matched her red coat. Sybil was wearing a silk blouse with one of her short skirts and was gushing over how pretty the braid Anna made with her hair was. They waved at Anna which was speeding in the direction of the coffee shop for a morning shift and headed to the Modern Art Oxford Gallery in Pembroke Street.

Mary paid for two tickets and stared at Salvador Dalì's weird look and crazy mustache in the posters. She usually loathed contemporary art, so she sincerely hoped she would have not detested it completely. Once inside Sybil started running from one corridor to another with wonder in her eyes. Mary tried to keep track of her for a while, but decided to give up pretty quickly. If she would run wild for that couple of hours inside the museum, she might have gotten tired in the afternoon.  _A girl could only hope_. With one eye on the little devil jumping around and gasping at every single piece, Mary decided to stare at one particular sculpture and try to figure out the meaning.

"Mary?" she heard a male voice coming from her left. She turned to see those blonde hair and blue eyes she had so much missed the day before.

"Hi Matthew!" she said politely. That was so unexpected! She had no idea of what to say in a context that wasn't the academic one. She felt the heat coming to her cheeks and she just wanted to punch herself for acting like a silly school girl.

"Do you like Dalì too?" he cried excited.

"Oh no!" she blurted out "I mean … I'm not really into contemporary art. I'm actually chaperoning my little sister who's in town" she smiled.

"You have a younger sister, then?"

"Two actually. But this is the youngest, and my favourite."

"Where's she?" he said looking around them.

"She's a little bit hyperactive" Matthew laughed at her remark "She's running around here somewhere, but she'll come around eventually."

"How old is she?"

"Sixteen" Mary answered and received and understanding look from him.

"So no contemporary art at all, uh? Are you a Da Vinci, Raffaello and Michelangelo type of girl?"

Mary nodded " And don't forget impressionism, I love impressionism!" they both laughed "For instance, I've been trying to figure out for half an hour why does these sculptures of women have drawers!" she pointed at them.

"Actually the woman with drawers is an image I much rather like" Mary's eyes on him told him that she expected and explanation "Basically Dalì used to say that the truth beauty of a woman, which is able to capture a man's soul, is not her forms or physical features in general, but in her mystery. Women are just as strong as men, but they are much more sensitive and careful, so they keep aspects of themselves hidden in these drawers, which makes knowing them, court them" he stopped for a moment "...falling in love with them all the more exciting." Matthew looked carefully at Mary's eyes fixed on the statue. He stared at her studying gaze and at her throat and chest moving at the rhythm of her breath.

Mary could now see the meaning of that piece of art. Matthew's word had been spoken with such passion and care that let her peak into the artist's mind. She looked at woman with the drawers now and found it beautiful. "Do you agree?" she asked in a low voice, facing his blue eyes.

"I do" he whispered and Mary could se the hesitation in his eyes, the stiffness in shoulders and she could have sworn that his heart was beating as fast as hers. That silence and the colour of those eyes were making her dizzy, she almost felt drunk by all of the feelings going throughout her body in that moment.

"Mary! Here you are I thought I lost-" Sybil stopped complaining once she saw she had company "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt!"

Mary gave Matthew an apologetic look "Matthew this is my sister Sybil"

"Nice to meet you Sybil, you have a very lovely name and a good taste in art from what I'm told." he smiled charmingly at her little sister.

"Thank you, the pleasure is mine Matthew. It's weird neither Mary or Anna ever mention they knew a nice and cute student!"

"SYBIL!" Mary cried shooting her a deadly look.

Matthew laughed "Maybe because I'm not a student" he grinned "They might have talked about a  _cute_ professor's assistant..." he said eyeing at Mary.

"Ok" Mary intervened "I think we're done with the presentations. Can we move it along?" she said grumpily.

The trio kept moving along the exhibition and Matthew seemed to be more talkative than ever. With Mary's disapproval he told Sybil about how she basically insulted him the first time they met and of course the memorable Apollo and Daphne story. Sybil was so amused she had to tell him some embarrassing stories about her torturing Edith to pay him back. As the two laughed and talked, Mary wanted to dig a whole in the ground and bury herself in it. In the last corridor, resuming their laughter, Matthew grabbed Mary for a moment to show her something.

"Here. Dalì also loved the image of Alice in Wonderland and made several piece on it. I thought you might like it." he smiled at her and she glance at the pretty statue with a little girl with roses for her hair and hands. She had to admit it was lovely.

When the tour ended, Sybil dived herself between the shelves of the souvenir shop, declaring she was going to buy the whole thing. Mary asked Matthew if he wanted to wait outside as well.

"There's actually one thing I want to get and then I'm good to go".

Mary ended up waiting for the both of them and as they exited the museum, Sybil was showing them every single piece of junk she had just wasted her money on. Before the awkward moment of the goodbye came, they saw Anna cycling in their direction.

"Mary!" she called as she slowed her speed "Oh hi Matthew!" she greeted him surprised.

"We bumped on him inside" Mary explained right away through Sybil's giggles.

"Listen, John and I found this costume party in this karaoke bar tonight. I checked and Sybil should be able to get in."

"Costume party?" Mary asked puzzled.

"Dummy, it's halloween!" Sybil cried.

Mary realized it was indeed the 31st of october, but she wasn't so eager about the costume part. She supposed she was going to give in eventually, given that her sister was in town only for one more day.

"Alright" she mumbled while Sybil hugged her.

"Sounds fun, can I come?" Matthew's words completely shut up all three girls. Mary realized that all those three pair of eyes were fixed on her.

"Why not..." she blurted out shyly.

"Cool" Anna came to her rescue "John won't feel bad in hanging out with all almost teenagers this time."

"Cool" Mary repeated "So we'll see you tonight..."

Matthew nodded and smiled at her, he was looking at her that way again.

"Yes!" Sybil cried "I'm so happy! This is the best weekend ever!"

As Sybil jumped up and down through the pavement, Matthew dismissed himself and Anna told them she was going to meet them at the coffee shop for lunch in fifteen minutes. As Matthew's figure disappeared through the small streets of Oxford, Mary felt more and more nervous about the night that she was going to spend in his company.

* * *

Anna and Sybil had basically obliged Mary to go to the costume shop with them that afternoon. Mary had agreed only on the condition that she could choose her own costume. She was positive that her sister and her sneaky friend would have wanted to get her some sexy outfit to impress Matthew, but if she was going to do that she wasn't going to resort to vulgarity. She had settled in the end for an Alice costume (she thought it was fitting) while Sybil was going as a nurse and Anna as a french maid.

"I still think you should wear the wig, Alice is blonde!" Anna told her as they were going out.

"Who said that? And even so who cares!"

"Go sis! An unconventional Alice!"

"What about John? What is he going to be?" Mary asked.

"He told me he's going to wear his old uniform and go as a soldier."

"Too bad, I thought you were going with matched costumes"

Anna chuckled "I thought you said that costume parties were stupid"

"Well yes... But if you really had to go, I think it would be romantic to go with matched costumes... Just saying".

Both Anna and Sybil laughed at Mary's expense as they locked up the apartment. They walked to the karaoke, which wasn't too far, and waited outside for the others as planned. John was already waiting for them. He smiled and gave Anna a sweet kiss.

"You ladies look all very pretty tonight!" he said.

"Thank you John!" Sybil cried excitedly.

Just a few minutes later the gang saw a guy with two girls approaching. It was William, dressed as a superhero Mary didn't know with Gwen and Daisy, who both wore funny wigs and fake lashes. Mary wished she had thought of that. Sybil introduced herself to everyone and Mary asked John if Tom was coming, but apparently he had to work.

"Are we waiting for anybody else?" William asked over excited.

"Matthew" Sybil cried.

"Are you two...?" Gwen asked Mary maliciously.

"No" Mary cried "It's nothing like that!"

"Oh here he is!" Anna warned them.

Sybil turned and started to laugh hysterically. Mary turned to her with a question mark face and she whispered in her ear " _What did you say about matched costumes?_ " Mary turned and watched her fear becoming reality. Matthew was wearing an old jacket, a funny bow tie and a huge hat which said 10/6. He was the Mad Hatter from Alice in Wonderland.  _Could things get anymore awkward?_

Done with the other introductions, the group entered the bar and took table. Mary couldn't find a way to enjoy herself properly, she was thorn between checking up on Sybil ( she knew she could get out of hand with alcohol nearby) and making sure Matthew was enjoying himself. She felt a little bit responsible for him, but he seemed to get along just fine with John who had been incredibly welcoming. She had wanted to talk to him, but Mary found that the setting, and most importantly the witnesses didn't make her comfortable at all. They drank and laughed and listened to the group that was playing, until the waitress left a piece of paper on their table.

"What is it?" Mary asked.

"It's a signing sheet for the karaoke. The group is done now, we're going to do a karaoke hour and then is plain music and dancing. You write the names of anyone who wants to sing at this table and the other waitress collects them and calls you when it's your turn." she smiled and moved along.

"So, does anyone want to sing?" Matthew asked eyeing the sheet.

"I think at least someone from this table should!" Anna stated giggling.

"Mary should do it!" Sybil cried excited. Matthew turn his head and grinned.

"Sybil!" Mary protested.

"Oh don't listen to her!" the youngster cried "She's an amazing voice!"

"Does she?" Matthew asked without taking his eyes off of her.

"Please Mary! You can sing  _the song_! You know it so well! There's absolutely no way of embarrassing yourself!" Mary still hesitated.

"Please Mary!" Gwen cried from the other side of the table.

"C'mon Mary!" William and Daisy shouted as John and Anna looked like poor lost puppies.

"Fine" she said as the whole table cheered.

"It's settled then" Matthew grinned as he wrote her name on the paper.

The karaoke hour began with a series of drunken people who couldn't hit a note. While the others laughed their asses off, Mary was relieved by the fact that she wasn't going to face a huge competition after all. Then the moment came and her friend cheered for her as her name was being called. Matthew watched carefully as she took her place on stage and murmured the title of the song to the keyboard player. The base began to play and while smiling politely at the public, Mary seemed very concentrated. Matthew couldn't be prepared for what happened inside him, as Mary began to sing beautifully Frank Sinatra's words.

_For once in my life I've got someone who needs me,_

_Someone I've needed so long_

_For once unafraid I can go where life leads me,_

_and somehow I know I'll be strong_

"This is my parent's song" Sybil whispered in his ear "Every year since we were little, for their anniversary we put up a little show and Mary sings the song for them."

"Do you play the piano?" Matthew asked.

"The pianist is actually Edith. I used to simply dance around and make everyone laugh, but as I got older I decided to help Edith with the piano, but she plays most of it anyway"

Matthew chuckled and tried to imagine that pretty family picture as Mary's beautiful voice kept singing.

_For once I can touch what my heart used to dream of_

_Long before I knew someone warm like you_

_Could make my dreams come true_

_For once I can touch what my heart used to dream of_ Matthew repeated in his head. He didn't even know his heart was dreaming of it. Of finding someone who could actually made him feel that way. As Mary kept singing the real problem of his relationship with Lavinia became crystal clear. All that heart pounding, the dry throat and the weak legs had never happened to him in Lavinia's company. He did love her, he just wasn't  _in love_ with her. He had no cold feet as his friend had suggested, he had never really fallen in love with Lavinia, and now that he knew what it felt like, he simply couldn't lie to Lavinia any longer. It was over, but for the best.

Mary finished her song and took all the deserved applause. As she headed back to her table, the waitress announced the end of the karaoke hour. The dj put some dance music on and the dance floor filled up quickly. Even from their table William, Daisy and Gwen went to dance all together.

"Where's Sybil?" Mary asked as she finally reached her friend.

"Some guy dressed as a doctor asked her to dance. It was pretty hilarious." Matthew informed but could read her worried expression "Oh, don't worry" he said in a very sweet tone "Before they went I told him she's a minor and that I am her big brother, just in case."

"Thank you" Mary chuckled.

"So..." he said hesitantly "I'm pretty sure that as the Mad Hatter I have to have a dance with Alice."

"Do you?" Mary teased him.

"If you want to" he was looking her in the eyes.

Mary loved to make him sweat for those few seconds "Of course" she said and followed him on the dance floor. But of course as they reached the floor the music turned into a slow dance. Mary and Matthew awkward came closer and started to move following the rhythm.

"I don't even know what this type of dance could be classified with" Mary said nervously "Waltz maybe?"

"You can waltz?" Matthew asked surprised.

"That and a lot more dance styles. The proper ones of course"

" _Where do you come from_?" he asked ironically and amused, thinking how this perfect girl had just dropped out of the sky for him.

"I thought I was here to dance, not to answer questions" Mary looked at him teasingly.

"You're right" he chuckled and held her a little bit closer "Mary" he whispered in her ear, almost in a moan "I need to tell you something"

"What is it?" she asked and they both faced each other.

Matthew stared at her eyes burning with wonder. He would have kissed her in that very moment. The music, the lights and her being wrapped in his arms... it was the perfect moment. He felt his throat becoming dry and could see her cheeks becoming of the prettiest shade of pink. His face was closer and closer to hers, but before closing his eyes he whispered "Sybil".

"What?" Mary asked surprised.

"I mean, that guy! He's bothering Sybil" he warned her and they both turned to witness the scene. Matthew went up to talk to the guy, but when he came back he found Mary seated at the table, and the evening seemed close to an end. He had missed his chance and wondered when he was ever going to get that again.

* * *

The morning after Mary woke up the last. The girls were already in the kitchen and still half asleep, Mary asked her sister what time he had to drop her at the train station.

"You don't have to."

"Why? Are you staying a few more days?"

"I worked it out Mary. I spoke with Mom and Dad and they're fine with it!"

"With what?" Mary protested still sleepy.

"I found a school, one of those Mom and Dad approve of, in Oxfordshire. It's not far from here. I will go to school there and come here for the weekend."

"Wait wait... Darling I love you but... there's two people living in here, I can't give my blessing for the both of us."

"Anna already said it's fine! Plus you have a very big bed!" she grinned "Please tell me that you are happy about this!"

"Of course I am" Mary hugged her sister "But please, promise me I won't live to regret it."

"I promise, Mary... and I love you."

 


	7. Public Protests and Knights in Shiny Armour

**Chapter Seven: Public Protests and Knights in Shining Armour**

Matthew woke up that morning even more tired than the night before. It had been the same for the past week or so. It took forever for him to fall asleep and when he did, he was just so nervous he couldn't fully enjoy it. Since the Halloween party he couldn't stop thinking about Mary. Her soothing voice, her silky dark hair against that alabaster skin, those marvelous eyes and her lips... so close to his and yet, much too far from where he wanted them. The feeling of regret for not having kissed there in that moment, or not having the nerve to call her on her own after to do so, had haunted him during his sleepless night. To top that, he had been really busy at the firm working on minor cases and of course the Grantham lawsuit, so he had give up those office hours for Professor Murray. He had told him that he was no problem at all, that the students didn't need anymore supervision, but Matthew mourned for his absence in that office, because he knew he was wasting the last hours Mary had to do for extra-credit. With that environment gone Matthew would have been obliged to work out a way to ask her out properly. And that was kind of the problem, he had been out of the game for quite a while now,  _hell_ he almost had never been  _in the game_ at all. Plus Mary was no ordinary girl. She was sophisticated, elegant, exciting... that girl  _knew how to waltz_! He was pretty sure she was used to way more exciting partners than he was, maybe he was just too ordinary for her. But Matthew realized that inside that beautiful, educated and witty exterior there was a person so sensitive, so fragile, so … real. He had spotted it during the office hours: a light in her eyes would change, her voice would tremble and her smile became shy instead of wry. When she talked like that, he knew she was just being herself, that she was revealing herself to him. And he didn't know, but he too found he could just be himself in that safe place, with her. But in the end Matthew had realized that he knew really little about the beautiful brunette and her story. He knew she had a lively adorable little sister who loved to interrupt them in the worst moment possible, but nothing more. He didn't know anything about her life out of Oxford, her family, her childhood, her passions. Sadly he realized she didn't know anything about him at all. Oh wait, she did know something … She knew about Lavinia. She knew he had a girlfriend whom he was on the verge of marrying at some point. Yes, she did know that and then he had tried to get close to her, crashed her friends party , almost kissed her and now … Now maybe she even thought he was ignoring her, since he hadn't seen her for more than a week. Any girl would have been confused by his behaviour to say the least. But of course there was always the option that she didn't even care at all about him. Regardless the outcome of his feelings for Mary though, Matthew had decided to be honest with Lavinia. To tell her that he had realized their problems couldn't simply be overcome, that it was really over between them, at least on his part. He didn't think it was necessary to tell her that he was falling in love with somebody else, that would've just been cruel. Besides, he if he was going to tell anybody about his feelings, he wanted Mary to be the first one to know.

So he had set his mind to call Lavinia as soon as possible (he knew that breaking up via phone was a lame male clichè, but he thought that acting on his feelings while still linked to Lavinia wouldn't just be honourable), he had rehearsed a whole speech throughout his sleepless nights. But the day he meant to go through with his plan, the first page of every newspaper was recounting the very same shocking news. The House of Commons and the Government had been involved in one of the biggest scandal of the past ten years. Apparently someone provided the proofs that John Swire, Minister of Education, had been stealing from the nation's coffers for years to finance his gambling addiction and his investments in the cocaine market. To think of Lavinia and Reggie (her father), being up there in London and caught in the eye of the storm had made Matthew very concerned. He picked up the phone to call Lavinia, but not with his original plans. He wanted to know if she was ok. He picked up the phone and dialled her number, straight to voice mail. He tried Reggie's but he had no luck with that either. They were staying at Lavinia's uncle in London, so calling the house number would've been pointless as well. As he paced the room back and forth, trying to rearrange his thoughts, the house phone rang. Was it Lavinia? It could have been, she was one of the few who had that number.

" _Hello?_ " he answered nervously.

"Matthew, darling?" the familiar female voice filled his ears. It was Isobel Crawley, his mother.

"Mom, hi! How are you? I'm sorry I haven't called you lately..."

"Don't worry dear, I know you've been busy. I'm just calling to see if you've heard from Lavinia and if she's ok."

Of course his mother would've read the papers, and of course he would've worried about his son's longtime girlfriend. "I can't seem to reach her. All their phones are off, they must be submerged by reporters."

"Of course. I suppose they would be. But hasn't she mentioned anything at all to you these past few days?"

Matthew froze. He wasn't quite sure on what to tell his mother. It wasn't really the time, nor the way to tell her about his latest life decisions. Even a modern thinking woman, like his mother was, would've told him that leaving his six years girlfriend for a nineteen years old student he had just met, wasn't a good idea.

"To be perfectly honest, mother, I haven't spoken with Lavinia in quite a while."

But she didn't seem to grasp the concept "I think you should go and see her in London."

"Mother, I don't think you understand..." he reacted quickly, but then he realized he needed no excuse. He really couldn't go to London.

His eyes quickly traveled to the files from the Pamuk-Grantham case. He had worked his ass off to keep the lawsuit under the radar when the scandal had broken on the papers. If he was to be photographed with them, and be part of another scandal... the lawsuit would have simply suffered from it. But all the same, should he go to London after all? Feelings and lawsuits aside, he really was concerned about Lavinia and her father.

"Is everything alright between you two?" his mother then said.

"Not really" he admitted.

"You don't have to explain. But regardless what is going on between you two, you should see how she is doing. For goodness's sake."

"I think you're right. I shall try and call her again. Maybe ask her if she needs me to be there."

"That's my darling boy. I have to go to the hospital now, but I send my love. I suppose I don't need to tell you how much I long to see you for Christmas."

"I miss you too Mom. Now go save lives!" he heard his mother chuckle and then closed the call. He tried Lavinia's phone once again, with no luck. His mind traveled to the Earl of Grantham and the case with the Turkish Ambassador. He knew he had to remain focused, that this particular week was very important. He grabbed his coat, his brief case and stepped out of his flat carrying the remaining papers on hand. If he couldn't reach Lavinia, if he couldn't see Mary, at least he would've tried his best with the case. Throwing himself completely into his work, classic Matthew Crawley. But that case was very important for his career, and that particular witness from the accusation might have been decisive for his strategy. He was determined to hear his statement first hand, to ask him his question, if he would have agreed. At this point he would've gone to see him by himself, even if it meant leaving Oxford for a few days.

* * *

Mary stared at the water boiling in the kettle. Since the Halloween Party she couldn't stop thinking about Matthew. His blue eyes, the perfect nose and his lips … so close to hers. For a moment she had seriously thought he was going to kiss her. But in the end, he hadn't. Yes, Sybil being in trouble might have had interrupted him from doing so, but for the rest of the evening he hadn't tried it again. He hadn't even come close to her. Even in the end, they parted so very politely, and he had said goodnight to her just as he had to Sybil and Anna. Mary had found herself brooding all that following sunday about it. If he didn't like her, if he didn't want to kiss her, then why had he asked to come to the Halloween party with her friends? Maybe he was lonely like Anna said, maybe he just had nothing better to do that night. Mary hated to feel that way. That was the exact reason why she didn't want to hear Anna's encouragement to go after him. But then he was everywhere, before Mary could realize it, he was occupying most of her thoughts. She wanted to just enjoy her first year at Oxford without any boy drama, she wanted an emotional break after Pamuk. She wanted to be happy and she didn't want her happiness to depend on anyone else but herself. But all that determination was useless now because she was miserable. She was miserable because Matthew hadn't kissed her. As much as she wanted to deny it, she was miserable because she wanted to kiss that pretentious jerk with the piercing blue eyes and the perfect smile. The following week she had set her mind on trying to decipher his intentions: she would have studied every smile, every look, every word. But with her greatest surprise and disappointment Matthew wasn't there. He wasn't doing office hours, he wasn't at class, he wasn't walking pensive through the cloisters of Christ Church. Then that day every first page was showing the same shocking news. Minister Swire, Lavinia's uncle, was stealing from the Nation's coffers, and to Mary everything became clear. Matthew must've been gotten caught up in Lavinia's problems. Mary bet she needed him more than ever, that she had called him right away when those proofs had been found. That he had ran to her in London, that he was helping her go through with all of it, that being so close had healed all of their problems. Mary bet that he was kissing her now. He was kissing her, and he was regretting almost kissing Mary. He was surely planning to move to London with her, or move back to Manchester. The Human Rights class was going to be over that semester. Maybe after Christmas he wasn't going to come back. She wasn't probably going to never see him again. Maybe it was for the best.  
"Mary" she head a muffled voice "Mary!"

"Uh?" she responded realizing it was Anna calling for her.

"I think your water is ready."

"Uh? Oh right!" she said and turned off the stove.

"Are you alright?" Anna asked concerned "Are you thinking about Matthew?"  _boom!_ "Mary, I'm sure he's just working, that's why he can't make it to class."

"It's not that. I mean... _nahhh forget it_."

"No, now you have to tell me." she said in a very resolved tone.

"Have you read about the Government scandal?"

"The question is who hasn't" Anna said in a bitter tone "Shouldn't you be kind of glad for it? It will definitely keep everyone away from your tiny scandal and the lawsuit."

"It not that" Mary said sadly "It's just that the minister, John Swire... He's Lavinia's uncle."

"And Lavinia is?"

"Matthew's girlfriend."

"Oh … I see" Anna said carefully "So you think he's with her now, in London."

"You know... forget I said anything." Mary said standing up.

"Mary... Only someone blind wouldn't say that Matthew has feelings for you. Even if he is indeed in London with her, it doesn't mean they will rekindle their relationship. Yes, they might get closer because of the scandal, but it will wear off, as it will, their problems will still be there."

"I just wish that it could've been simple for me, at least this once."

"It's pretty understandable. But even the scariest obstacles are worth overcoming when you really love someone." Anna smiled at Mary who smiled back.

"Anyway..." she breathed out " This is not my problem, at least for now, so I'm going to concentrate on easier tasks like acing this paper and make the bed for Sybil in the guest room."

"Oh right, Sybil! Can you pick her up a the station like the last two weekends? Because if you're busy John and I will be happy to do it!"

"It won't be necessary. This week she wants to take the bus and come home alone. I guess she wants to show us she can be independent." both girls giggled.

"Do you need help with that bed?" Anna asked as Mary took a look at her wrist watch.

"On second thought, I want to head to the post office before it closes, they should have a package with Sybil's clothes."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"What I want" Mary said wearing her coat " is for you to focus on your micro economy paper. You will have plenty of Crawley drama to deal with when Sybil arrives." she smiled affectionately at her friend.

"Just when I thought I found an excuse!" Anna joked "I guess I'll see you tonight at the club, I have the late shift!"

"Perfect! I'm really looking forward to the boys shouting and fighting over the pool table! This girl needs a romantic drama free night!" they both laughed and Mary stepped out of their apartment.  
Once of the ground floor, she took the purple umbrella from her purse and went out to face the rain. The bike wasn't probably a good idea, so she walked to that part of town where she never went, with music blasting in her ears. As her mind wondered, she realized she must have arrived in the right part of town. That neighborhood was very different from the part of town she was used to. No University building, no clothes shops or student cafes. That was the offices district and serious people raced back and forth with their working clothes and their black umbrellas. At the centre of the little square there was the post office. Mary speed up trying to fight her own thoughts. The music felt distant and muffled as she concentrated on her rubber boots splashing at her every step and on the rhythm of her heart beat. She was in such a trance that she didn't see the guy coming from the opposite direction and hit his shoulder pretty hard. With horror she realized about the mess she had made: all of this guy's paper work was lying on the wet ground.

"I'm so sorry" she cried and quickly bent down to collect the paper. She removed her headphones and felt the victim of her clumsiness bending down as well.

"Mary?" she lifted her gaze and stopped breathing. Matthew helped her up and she handed him the pile of papers "What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I'm going to the post office" she answered quickly "What are  _you_ doing here?" she asked defensive.

Matthew smiled and looked at her in the eyes " The firm I work in is right there" he pointed at a building not far from them "In fact, work has been pretty harsh this past week" he smiled apologetically, almost as he wanted to explain his absence in class. Mary felt quite embarrassed for all the thought she had been giving about his reason for being absent. He hadn't gone to London, he wasn't comforting Lavinia. He had been working hard, just like Anna had said. "How is Sybil?" he said then breaking the awkward silence "Has she got home safe?"

"No … I mean, she hasn't gone back home." Matthew looked puzzled "She enrolled in a boarding school in Oxfordshire" Mary explained " She's been coming here every weekend."

"Oh I see" he kept smiling " It must be thrilling for you."

"Yes" she smiled politely " Thrilling  _and_ concerning." Mary stopped to listen to the sound of his laugh. He looked serene, but Mary could tell he had something on his mind.  _And what else could it be?_ She asked herself bitterly. "How is Lavinia?" she then asked taking him completely by surprise. "I read the papers and I wondered."

"Thank you for that" he told her sincerely " The truth is I still haven't heard from her. They must be constantly harassed by reporters, Reggie and her." he caught her puzzled look "Uhm... Reggie is her father."

Mary nodded "It sounds awful" she suddenly felt sorry for the girl. It could have been her, harassed by reporters.

"I will try and call her again soon." he explained.

"Of course you will" Mary whispered, but hated the way he talked about her. She hated his concern for her, his closeness with her family. Who was she compared to the woman he spent six years with? Mary knew she was exaggerating, that him being concerned was only proof to his good heart.

"I'm very sorry Mary" he said at some point "I really have to go. But it was nice to see you" he smiled briefly and turned his head as he ran through the rain. And so they parted so politely, like two strangers sharing a cab. Where did the Mad Hatter and Alice go? Mary really couldn't tell.

* * *

Matthew closed the door behind his back and greeted the secretary as he got rid of his wet coat. He left the umbrella in the hall and let himself go on his desk. He breathed out heavily. Meeting Mary that way had been unexpected. He had wanted to say so many things to her, about Halloween, about his absence, about his feelings. But she felt so distant. Then she asked about Lavinia, and Matthew felt incredibly tense. It was like Mary had built an invisible barrier between them in that moment, a shield really and  _how could he blame her_? Lavinia was still a reality and he was the only one responsible for that. He looked at all of his papers and yawned.  _Focus on work_ he told himself, but his mobile rang. The screen lit up showing him Lavinia's name.

"Matthew?" her voice trembled in the receiver.

"Lavinia thank god! I tried to call you many times! Mother and I were so worried!"

"I know, I'm sorry. It's been a crazy couple of days... our lawyers suggested we only turn our phones on for emergencies."

"I figured. How are you?"

That was a strange phone call. It didn't matter how many times he would try to ask her about her uncle and the scandal, she turned incredibly evasive and quickly changed the subject. She told him she missed him terribly but at the same time forbid him to come to London.  _It really isn't necessary_ and  _we're going to see each other for Christmas anyway_  she said. Realizing how deeply shocked by the event she was, Matthew didn't have the heart to break up with her. Over the phone was just not the right, especially not after what she'd just been through. He had no idea if something would have ever happened between him and Mary, but Christmas holiday were less than a month away now and he decided he was going to tell her then. Breaking up for Christmas would have been dreadful, he knew it, but it was better than in that moment over the phone, and better than leading her anymore on.  _Focus on work_  he told himself again as the conversation ended. Matthew breathed out and looked for the paper where the contact of that key witness was.

* * *

Mary panted as she arrived at John's coffee shop. She parked her bike near a lamp post and went to ring the shop's bell. Just a few minutes later Anna came to open the door to her. The familiar music haunted the dark rooms of the upstairs shop. Once down the spiral staircase, Mary waved at the whole group and went straight for the sofa where Daisy and Gwen were already sitting, Anna followed her.

"Fancy a cocktail,  _m'lady_?" William joked offering a glass. Mary took it and thanked him, while Anna was giving her an amused look. "Do you want another one,  _honey?_ " William asked Daisy. Daisy dodged him quickly and went to change the music with Gwen, as William joined the boys at the pool table.

"Am I missing something?" Mary asked Anna who was looking at Daisy pensive.

"Daisy and William went on a date, she kissed him and now he thinks they're together."

"I see... Poor William" Mary sighed at the thought of the poor guy being led on. Anna picked something up from her look.

"What did you say you wanted to tell me in that text? Did you see Matthew?"

"Yes" Mary moaned "But please, let's not ruin our night over it."

"You won't be able to ruin his night!" Anna joked hinting at William who jumped up and down the room and shoot kisses at Daisy. Mary laughed.

"Mary" John called "Would you like to play with us?" he asked as she and Anna approached "Lover boy here is too distracted."

Mary nodded and took a stick, while Anna gave John a small kiss in the cheek. Mary saw Tom lost in his own thoughts on a armchair strumming a guitar.

"What is it with him, anyway?" she asked.

"He met some mystery girl last week" William informed.

"And he's been this sloppy ever since" John teased.

"You know I can hear you, right?" Tom cried as he stood up and approached them, guitar on hand.

"The worst thing is that he won't say a word about it" William continued.

"I'm not the type who kisses and tells, like somebody I know!" he joked and punched William in a friendly way.

Mary growled to herself. William was acting all lovingly and even Tom Branson now, who seemed to be interested only in politics, was smiling and humming love songs. So much for her romance-free night.

"Are you so taken with this girl that you will let this thing with the Minister of Education pass?" John asked.

"They only wish!" Tom turned serious "I might be smitten, but I've not gone mad. I've spread the word with the guys from my political club, we are organizing a public protest for tomorrow." Anna and Mary looked at each other carefully "You're all welcome if you want to come."

"I think we'll pass" Mary said has her ball fell into the whole.

* * *

Matthew lifted his head from the papers yawning. He looked at the time, it was 6 pm.  _Time to lock up_ he thought, as he tidied up the papers. He was pretty proud of himself, focusing on work had helped and he had managed to get a meeting with the key witness. He told him on the phone that he preferred to come to Oxford himself instead of being seen talking with the defence lawyer at his own University. That was actually fine with Matthew, who very much loved to stay in Oxford for the last month of lectures left. As the day before he locked up the office way long after anyone else had gone home. He turned the key three times (as Kim, the secretary, had taught him) and caught the lift for the ground floor. As he approached the exit and waved at the door man, he heard a loud noise coming from the streets outside. The door man caught his expression.

"There's a public protest" he explained "For that Minister thing."

Matthew sighed thinking about Lavinia for a moment and he stepped out, hoping to be able to spot his bicycle as soon as possible. The angry crowd was haunting the whole square, hordes of students were protesting against the police. It didn't look good at all. Matthew turned his gaze in the direction of his parking spot but noticed something else instead. In midst of all those agitated people Sybil, Mary's sister, was shouting and cheering. With her it was Tom Branson, Mary's friend. Was it possible that Mary knew about this? That would've allowed her sixteen years old sister to get caught up in all of this? It didn't look right at all.

"Sybil!" he shouted without success "Sybil, over here!" he shouted again now closer to the point where she was. Sybil and Tom turned together.

"Matthew?" she cried, distracted by the confusion.

"Do you know him?" Tom asked puzzled as Sybil nodded.

"Sybil, I think you should go home. It's dangerous!"

"I'm fine, Matthew really!"

"I don't think Mary would like to know that you're here!" Matthew tried to convince her.

"Mary?!" Tom look rather puzzled.

Matthew realized that the poor fellow had no idea of Sybil's identity, and something told him, of his age. Matthew tried to get closer to them, but a big group of people came to push them really hard. Matthew turned to check up on Sybil and realized she had fallen from the push. As Matthew got to the point when they were standing, he saw Tom's face horrified and Sybil laying unconscious on the ground. There was blood on her head and the agitated people were about to step on her. Matthew quickly picked her up and made his way through the crowd, followed by a very worried Tom.

"I... I don't know..." he was very confused.

"Stay calm!" Matthew ordered " We have to get as far away from here as possible and call an ambulance!" Tom nodded and helped him carrying her, while he took his phone and called the ambulance.

"I swear I had no intention to get her hurt" Tom said once they were away from the crowd "I didn't realized it would go so far!"

"When did they say they were coming?" Matthew asked him, half angry half worried.

"Five minutes." Tom said.

There was an awkward silence "Did you know she's Mary Levinson's teenage sister?"

"What? I- She told me she was in college..."

"She's sixteen..." Matthew explained calming his tone. Tom seemed pretty upset by himself, any further scolding would have only made it worse. As Tom caressed gently Sybil's peaceful face, the ambulance arrived, and Matthew helped the nursed loading her in the van. "Her name is Sybil Levinson, she is sixteen years old. She was swept away by the crowd and fell" he explain the doctor who was filling her card.

"Is any of you two family?" the doctor asked.

"No, I'm afraid." Matthew said, knowing what was comining.

"Then I'm afraid you can't come with us."

Matthew nodded "Can you tell us at least in which hospital you're taking her?"

"It's the Churchill Hospital." the woman said closing the ambulance's door.

The siren began to play and the vehicle disappeared through the streets and the crowd. Matthew could see how shaken Tom was.

"We should call a cab and go there" he cried.

"Wait" Matthew stopped him "We have to call Mary first"

"Right" he said breathing hard.

"Do you have Mary's number?"

"You don't?" Tom asked as Matthew nodded "Wait... Sybil's bag." he turned to have a look while Matthew waited for his answer " We put Sybil's bag in my motorbike's dashboard before joining the protest."

Matthew followed Tom to his motor, and when they got there he opened the dashboard containing Sybil's bag. Matthew reached for her iphone in the smaller pocket. He clicked on the address book and scrolled until Mary's name appeared. He clicked on it and a picture of Mary smiling while wearing a very beautiful dress in what seemed a gala. Matthew stared at the picture for a few seconds before hitting call, she looked so beautiful.

"Sybil, darling?" she answered right away "Where are you? You should have been home by now, did you get lost?" her voice was so concerned.

"Mary, it's Matthew"

"Matthew?" she asked puzzled and paused for a moment "Did something happen to Sybil?"

"Mary" he breathed heavily "Sybil was in the public protest down the street from my office. She fell and hit her head. We called an ambulance and they're taking her to Churchill Hospital"

Matthew could hear Mary's breath becoming irregular even through the phone "I don't know where it is" she whispered with panic in her voice.

"Please Mary calm down"  _I'm here for you,_ he wanted to say "Call a cab and let it take you. We'll see each other there."

"Ok... Ok... Churchill Hospital" she repeated as she closed the call.

Matthew put Sybil's mobile back in her bag and took out his own.

"What are you doing?" Tom asked.

"I'm calling a cab, what does it look like I'm doing?" Matthew was worried, but worried for Mary. He wanted to be there as soon as possible to be close to her. Her voice on the phone, he just couldn't bear it.

"Put it down" Tom ordered "We're going in my motor" he said handing him a helmet "We'll be faster this way." Matthew nodded and the two men rode the motorbike to the hospital.

* * *

As Tom had predicted they had arrived pretty soon, in fact Sybil had just been admitted to the ER. Mary was still nowhere to be seen. When the doctors put Sybil in a stretcher and drove her through the ER doors, Matthew and Tom could only sit in the waiting room. They weren't family and the hospital couldn't disclose any information. A while later, Matthew spotted Mary coming through the door.

"Mary!" he called and approached her quickly. She was shaking and Matthew could see from the red in her eyes that she had been crying. He wanted to hug her so bad, but he knew he had to give her some space.

"Matthew" she cried "Thank God you were there!" she sobbed, then she lifted her gaze "Tom?" she said.

"It's a long story" Matthew tried to explain " Now go and she how she's doing. They're only letting family in."

"Of course" she nodded " and thank you" she whispered and squeezed his hand. Before he could realize it, she had disappeared through the doors of the ER, his hand was still burning from her touch. As time went by Matthew advised Tom to go home, the girls would have probably been tired and Mary would probably have been furious with him. He agreed after a while and made Matthew promise to inform him as soon as he knew anything.

Then Mary came out of the ER and looked for him with her eyes. When she found him, she sat by his side and said "It was a blow to the head and a sprained ankle. They're getting her ready to go home" Matthew smiled to her and handed her a sandwich he had both for her. She ate it pretty quickly (she must've been angry) and thanked him. "Where is Branson?" she asked.

"I sent him home" he explained " I didn't think you would be so understanding tonight."

"You thought right" she cried frustrated "But you didn't need to stay" she said taking his hand. She looked looked at him with her eyes filled with tears. She was vulnerable and heartbreakingly beautiful.

"Of course I did. I couldn't leave you, the both of you alone here."

As he finished his sentence, the doctor walked through the door accompanying Sybil, who was still a little dazed. Matthew helped her walking outside, handing Mary her bag. They called the cab and went straight to Mary's house. This wasn't certainly the way Matthew had pictured going there. He helped Sybil off the cab and up to their flat. He also helped Mary putting her in bed and providing everything she needed. She tried more than once to justify Tom and take all the blame, but both Matthew and Mary agreed it was no time to talk about it. When Sybil finally asleep, Mary and Matthew went in the living room.

"Thank you for what you did today" Mary whispered once they were alone "Sybil told me you came into the crow to get her away."

"I wished I could have convinced her"

"You did more than enough. Sybil is too stubborn" she smiled.

"I suppose you are going to have to call your parents and tell them now..."

"Are you crazy?" she cried "They would kill me, then her , then me again" Matthew chuckled "Trust me, they're better off not knowing." Mary could feel him close to her, she could feel the warmth of his body radiating directly on her, she blushed. "You must be careful not to break Sybil's heart" she said capturing his attention " With you playing the knight in shining armour today, she might have developed a crush on you" she wouldn't dare looking him in the eyes.

Matthew smiled "What about you? Would you rather be turned into a Laurel tree in this moment?"

Mary sighed "I want to give you some piece of advice" she lifted her gaze, facing his blue eyes " You must pay no attention to the things I say." the looked at each other than at their lips and when the looked each other in the eyes again a realization came to them. Before Mary could speak again Matthew's lips were on hers. The moved gently together, craving one another with the same intensity. They opened their mouth to deepen the kiss, first slowly then more voraciously. Their hands had completely gone mad: she was passing her fingers through his silky blonde hair, while his were traveling from her back to her waist, keeping her close to him. Mary wished that moment could last forever. She wished she could froze time and keep kissing Matthew. That kiss was very different from Evelyn's kisses, but it was also different from Pamuk's. The passion burning inside of her wasn't any less powerful, but it was so very different. She didn't feel frightened, she didn't feel like she was doing something wrong. In Matthew's arms she felt completely safe, with him she could tackle anything. It only took a look in those beautiful blue eyes to know that he would never, ever hurt her the way Pamuk did. In that moment Mary realized that she was falling in love with Matthew, and this time she was so sure it was real.

But the spell broke as they heard the key turning in the lock. Anna and John walked in while Mary and Matthew parted, still red in the face, still panting from their kiss.

"How is she?" Anna quickly asked looking at Matthew puzzled.

"She's fine, she's sleeping now. Just a blow to the head and a sprained ankle" she paused for a moment and glanced at Matthew " Matthew was the one who found her and called the ambulance."

"But what was she doing there?" Anna asked worried.

"She was with Tom."

"Tom?" Anna repeated puzzled.

"She's the mystery girl, isn't she?" John asked.

"Apparently" Mary nodded.

"Well... We'd better talk about all of this tomorrow. It's late now and Mary you should get some sleep. Matthew you don't mind, right?" Anna gave him an apologetic look.

"Of course not. We all need some sleep I guess" he reached for his coat.

"Let me walk you to the door" Mary said and he nodded. Once on the door Mary stared once more at his blue eyes. Anna and John were in the kitchen. "Thank you" she said once more in a hushed voice.

Matthew smiled "I'll see you tomorrow … ok?"

Mary knew that was more than a polite way of saying goodnight. She simply nodded and smiled shyly. Matthew looked at her one more time and then went down the stairs. Mary stayed on the door until she could not see anymore of him. She wanted to have the perfect image of him before he could meet him again in her dreams.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I want to specify that I know nothing about the British University System being italian, so I hope you will bear it with me in the next chapter. What did you think? Comment please! xoxo


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